Tuesday, January 6, 2009 by Myke.

Well, we are almost done with our 8 years of Bushism but to be honest, they will never be forgotten.  I mean where else can you hear “The problem is that most of our imports come from other countries”?  I will admit to voting for him both times but to be honest, was their really a choice?!?  Al Gore is a lying fat piece of Global Warmings**t and John Kerry is a country hating flag burning retard that would rather promote Communism than help Americans.  I understand that Bush was not the smartest peanut in the turd but at least he could make us laugh.  Good luck Obama and for everyone else, enjoy 8 years of Bushism.

• “I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully.” — September 2000, explaining his energy policies at an event in Michigan.

• “Rarely is the question asked, is our children learning?” — January 2000, during a campaign event in South Carolina.

• “They misunderestimated the compassion of our country. I think they misunderestimated the will and determination of the commander in chief, too.” — Sept. 26, 2001, in Langley, Va. Bush was referring to the terrorists who carried out the Sept. 11 attacks.

• “There’s no doubt in my mind, not one doubt in my mind, that we will fail.” — Oct. 4, 2001, in Washington. Bush was remarking on a back-to-work plan after the terrorist attacks.

• “It would be a mistake for the United States Senate to allow any kind of human cloning to come out of that chamber.” — April 10, 2002, at the White House, as Bush urged Senate passage of a broad ban on cloning.

• “I want to thank the dozens of welfare-to-work stories, the actual examples of people who made the firm and solemn commitment to work hard to embetter themselves.” — April 18, 2002, at the White House.

• “There’s an old saying in Tennessee — I know it’s in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can’t get fooled again.” — Sept. 17, 2002, in Nashville, Tenn.

• “Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.” — Aug. 5, 2004, at the signing ceremony for a defense spending bill.

• “Too many good docs are getting out of business. Too many OB/GYNs aren’t able to practice their love with women all across this country.” — Sept. 6, 2004, at a rally in Poplar Bluff, Mo.

• “Our most abundant energy source is coal. We have enough coal to last for 250 years, yet coal also prevents an environmental challenge.” — April 20, 2005, in Washington.

• “We look forward to hearing your vision, so we can more better do our job.” — Sept. 20, 2005, in Gulfport, Miss.

• “I can’t wait to join you in the joy of welcoming neighbors back into neighborhoods, and small businesses up and running, and cutting those ribbons that somebody is creating new jobs.” — Sept. 5, 2005, when Bush met with residents of Poplarville, Miss., in the wake of Hurricane Katrina.

• “It was not always a given that the United States and America would have a close relationship. After all, 60 years we were at war 60 years ago we were at war.” — June 29, 2006, at the White House, where Bush met with Japanese Prime Minister Junichiro Koizumi.

• “Make no mistake about it, I understand how tough it is, sir. I talk to families who die.” — Dec. 7, 2006, in a joint appearance with British Prime Minister Tony Blair.

• “These are big achievements for this country, and the people of Bulgaria ought to be proud of the achievements that they have achieved.” — June 11, 2007, in Sofia, Bulgaria.

• “Mr. Prime Minister, thank you for your introduction. Thank you for being such a fine host for the OPEC summit.” — September 2007, in Sydney, Australia, where Bush was attending an APEC summit.

• “Thank you, Your Holiness. Awesome speech.” April 16, 2008, at a ceremony welcoming Pope Benedict XVI to the White House.

• “The fact that they purchased the machine meant somebody had to make the machine. And when somebody makes a machine, it means there’s jobs at the machine-making place.” — May 27, 2008, in Mesa, Ariz.

• “And they have no disregard for human life.” — July 15, 2008, at the White House. Bush was referring to enemy fighters in Afghanistan.

• “I remember meeting a mother of a child who was abducted by the North Koreans right here in the Oval Office.” — June 26, 2008, during a Rose Garden news briefing.

• “Throughout our history, the words of the Declaration have inspired immigrants from around the world to set sail to our shores. These immigrants have helped transform 13 small colonies into a great and growing nation of more than 300 people.” — July 4, 2008 in Virginia.

• “The people in Louisiana must know that all across our country there’s a lot of prayer — prayer for those whose lives have been turned upside down. And I’m one of them. It’s good to come down here.” — Sept. 3, 2008, at an emergency operations center in Baton Rouge, La., after Hurricane Gustav hit the Gulf Coast.

• “This thaw — took a while to thaw, it’s going to take a while to unthaw.” Oct. 20, 2008, in Alexandria, La., as he discussed the economy and frozen credit markets.

Posted in The Facts, WTF, Funny | Print | 1 Comment »

Monday, January 5, 2009 by Myke.

Did you know today was the final day at the World Series of Beer Pong IV?  Well, it is folks and there is a grand prize of $50,000.00.

Holy crap folks, there is finally a sport where drinking is encouraged.  I figure I have 360 days to get ready for next years event.  :-)  Just kidding…but if there was a Jägermeister tournament I would be so in baby!

LAS VEGAS — Don’t let the smell of beer and the rock music fool you: Beer pong is a serious game. Some dare say a sport.

Granted, they tend to be grinning and drinking when they say it.

There was plenty of both going on this weekend at the World Series of Beer Pong IV, a loud and sloshy annual tournament that elevates a college fraternity house staple that includes ping pong balls and beer to an (almost) serious competition.

With a $50,000 prize on the line, more than 400 teams flocked to the Flamingo hotel-casino on the Las Vegas Strip for a chance to bring their skills out of the bar and into the big time. They wore matching uniforms and talked about focus and strategy.

Some also wore matching hot pants and talked about drinking more Pabst Blue Ribbon, the official beer of the tournament.

But the winner, Ron Hamilton, 25, of Brentwood, N.Y., preferred liquor to beer, and said he got ready for Sunday’s play by drinking a bottle of Jack Daniels.

“The key today was me getting real drunk and my partner not missing, and us coming out and proving we’re the best,” Hamilton said shortly after winning the top prize with Michael Popielarski, 25, of Massapequa, N.Y.

Hamilton said he and his partner — who form the team Smashing Time — met three years ago at a bar in Long Island.

“We’ve been unstoppable ever since,” he said. Hamilton said he planned to eliminate his personal debt and pay part of his mother’s mortgage with the winnings.

The game is played with cups of beer lined up like bowling pins on two ends of a 14-foot table. Team members alternate trying to toss a ping pong ball into the cups. The team that lands all the cups wins, the losers drink.

While one team is tossing, the other is free to create any sort of distraction, hence the skimpy hot pants. “The skill is the psyche out,” said competitor 23-year-old Ryan Young.

Beer pong came to prominence largely in East Coast college campuses in the late 1990s. It has recently left the campus for the mainstream.

More bars are setting up tables and weekly tournaments. A new documentary, “Last Cup: Road to the World Series of Beer Pong,” captures the growing pong culture. “Beer Pong” the video game was designed for Nintendo Co.’s popular Wii game system, but JV Games Inc. changed the name to “Pong Toss” amid complaints about appropriateness for teenagers. The World Series of Beer Pong has seen its ranks swell five fold since its first tournament in 2006.

Devotees say the game is a hit because it requires just enough skill and concentration that you can improve with practice, but not so much that you can’t also have a few while playing.

This World Series of Beer Pong is the brainchild of entrepreneurs Billy Gaines, Duncan Carroll and Ben “Skinny” Solnik. The trio met as students and beer pong aficionados at Carnegie Mellon University.

After graduation, they set out in their spare time to turn the game they loved into a moneymaker. Their site, bpong.com, sells tables, T-shirts, balls and other gear. The company organizes satellite tournaments and is a clearinghouse for detailed and occasionally heated conversation about the game’s rules. This one made it into the world series official rule book: “No player may take offense to anything said or done during a game, even if it involves their mother.”

But the world series’ rules don’t require the losers to drink, a deviation from original game, and a concession, perhaps, to critics. Beer pong and other drinking games have been targeted by those trying to curb binge drinking. Some college campuses have banned the game.

Gaines said beer pong is misunderstood.

“I know the media will say this is a chugging contest,” he said. “This is about a sport, it’s about a competition. They aren’t here to drink. Yeah, they’re drinking, but that’s not why they’re here.”

I am sorry, but any event sponsered by Pabst Blue Ribbon has my vote.  *I think I just pissed myself*

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Monday, January 5, 2009 by Myke.

After everyone watched the Madoff implosion, I started to wonder if there were other “schemes” out there that would be considered Ponzi Schemes.  It did not take long before I thought of what I feel is the largest of Ponzi Schemes, Social Security.  Think about it, Social Security taxes current workers to pay Social Security benefits for current retirees.  In other words, the young employees will always pay for the retirees benefits.  *scratches head*  According to the latest Social Security report, we are currently at a 75-year deficit of appx $4,300,000,000,000.  Yes, I said 4.3 trillion dollars!  So according to their math and time table, we could fix this by dumping in $60,000,000,000/year over the next 75 years.  *scratches head again*  So that would be the definition of a Ponzi Scheme right?!?  There is currently not enough money in the pot for everyone to collect benefits today.  We are all depending on the future generations to supply our Social Security benefits.

So according to some “experts”, this is not actually a Ponzi Scheme because of one thing, Technological change.  They claim that with the current growth population we will be fine.  They compare this to the fact that the U.S. population has tripled since the early 1900’s.  *tilts head to side like confused dog*  WHAT???  So what I am getting is that as long as we all continue to have sex like rabbits and reproduce at least 2 children per household we might be okay for the future.  They also claim that if we invest into science and technology as opposed to homes, flat screen TV’s, SUV’s and game systems we will continue to grow just fine.  WTF?!?  So to sum up what the “experts” are saying…give your hard earned money to the government after they take your taxes/social security out of your checks and we will be okay.  But if we continue to spend money on what we want, then we are f**ked!

How come every Government failure can only be fixed by raising the taxs?  Why can’t we fix Government failure by replacing the morons with proven leaders?

I, Myke Reinhold, will hereby fix the Social Security problems of today and the future with one solution.  Legalize and tax the growth/sale/use of marijuana.

“If i hold a gun to your head and demand your wallet, it is a crime.  But if the Government does the same thing, it is called taxation.” - Myke Reinhold

Posted in The Facts, Rant | Print | 1 Comment »

Thursday, January 1, 2009 by Myke.

After a long year and all the headaches that came with the year 2008 we decided to toast the new year with some hard drinking.  It appeared I was having a great time last night and was enjoying everything.  Then I wake up today and see pictures and the video of last night and I have decided I am a very LOUD, obnoxious, annoying and crazy drunk.  For that I apologize to everyone that came over…sort of.  :-)  I mean it was due to the adult sex toys, 3/4 of a bottle of Jägermeister and 4 cans of Bing Cherry…I swear.  I feel pretty good today minus the embarrassing total recall through the eyes of a video camera. 

So now it is 2009 and we need to get this year kicked off right and get it rocking.  This is the year that I am going to focus on making fun of everyone, not just a select few; lose some weight and gain some muscle (I make myself laugh sometimes); work on the house and back yard and then figure out how to move to Sweden and catch some Swedish Pike.  Plus I hear they have a better economy than we do.  I wonder if I can drill for gas/oil over there?

Well, everyone it was a very weird and funny year last year so here is to a new year and a better one.  Cheers.

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Thursday, January 1, 2009 by Myke.

I own 2 of the 30GB Zune players and as of yesterday morning they are both dead and frozen on the Zune splash screen.  Why?  Because for some reason you could not figure out how to make an MP3 player deal with 366 days in a year.  Are you kidding me with this crap.  And your answer to all of us is “Customers with 30gb Zune devices may experience issues when booting their Zune hardware.  We’re aware of the problem and are working to correct it.  The Zune Social might be slow or inaccessible. Sorry for the inconvenience, and thanks for your patience!”…ISSUES?!?  The issue is there is no fix to this and we are supposed to just sit down and go about our lives while you figure out what you did.  I guess I will be going to Best Buy today to exchange them for something other than a MS player.  And you wonder why people hate you as much as they do.  I live and die by MS everyday and when I called you all I get is some dumb ass Indian from India saying it is a known issue and we are sorry.  Thanks for blowing sand in my face you f**king sand monkeys!

Microsoft Corp., maker of the Zune, said a bug in the internal clock driver, related to the way the device handles a leap year, caused the malfunction in older Zune 30GB models.

Matt Akers of the Zune Product Team wrote Wednesday on Zune.net that the problem should resolve itself after 7 a.m. ET Thursday. The Zune support page says users should allow the internal battery to fully drain, then recharge by connecting the Zune to a computer or AC power after noon GMT (7 a.m. ET) on New Year’s Day.

Guess what Matt Akers, I still have 2 30GB players that are dead as Windows ME…oh wait, Windows ME actually booted up unlike my MP3 players.

CNN.com story

Geeks Are Sexy Story

Microsoft, I am very disappointed in this.  This is very sad and pretty much like the old days. 

Posted in Rant, Technology, WTF | Print | No Comments »

Wednesday, December 31, 2008 by Myke.

We all know the failure of the year 2008 and all of the economic crap.  People lost their ass on 401k plans, stocks, bonds and hell, we even lost out on cash value.  Our economy was so bad the Mexicans left for their home land.  Well I decided to take a look at some of the predictions that were made during and for the year 2008.

1. “A very powerful and durable rally is in the works. But it may need another couple of days to lift off. Hold the fort and keep the faith!” —Richard Band, editor, Profitable Investing Letter, Mar. 27, 2008

At the time of the prediction, the Dow Jones industrial average was at 12,300. By late December it was at 8,500.

2. AIG (AIG) “could have huge gains in the second quarter.” —Bijan Moazami, analyst, Friedman, Billings, Ramsey, May 9, 2008

AIG wound up losing $5 billion in that quarter and $25 billion in the next. It was taken over in September by the U.S. government, which will spend or lend $150 billion to keep it afloat.

3. “I think this is a case where Freddie Mac (FRE) and Fannie Mae (FNM) are fundamentally sound. They’re not in danger of going under…I think they are in good shape going forward.” —Barney Frank (D-Mass.), House Financial Services Committee chairman, July 14, 2008

Two months later, the government forced the mortgage giants into conservatorships and pledged to invest up to $100 billion in each.

4. “I’m not an economist but I do believe that we’re growing.” —President George W. Bush, in a July 15, 2008 press conference

Nope. Gross domestic product shrank at a 0.5% annual rate in the July-September quarter. On Dec. 1, the National Bureau of Economic Research declared that a recession had begun in December 2007.

5.“I think Bob Steel’s the one guy I trust to turn this bank around, which is why I’ve told you on weakness to buy Wachovia.” —Jim Cramer, CNBC commentator, Mar. 11, 2008

Two weeks later, Wachovia came within hours of failure as depositors fled. Steel eventually agreed to a takeover by Wells Fargo. Wachovia shares lost half their value from Sept. 15 to Dec. 29.

6. “Existing-Home Sales to Trend Up in 2008″ —Headline of a National Association of Realtors press release, Dec. 9, 2007

On Dec. 23, 2008, the group said November sales were running at an annual rate of 4.5 million—down 11% from a year earlier—in the worst housing slump since the Depression.

7. “I think you’ll see [oil prices at] $150 a barrel by the end of the year” —T. Boone Pickens, June 20, 2008

Oil was then around $135 a barrel. By late December it was below $40.

8. “I expect there will be some failures. … I don’t anticipate any serious problems of that sort among the large internationally active banks that make up a very substantial part of our banking system.” —Ben Bernanke, Federal Reserve chairman, Feb. 28, 2008

In September, Washington Mutual became the largest financial institution in U.S. history to fail. Citigroup (C) needed an even bigger rescue in November.

9. “In today’s regulatory environment, it’s virtually impossible to violate rules.” —Bernard Madoff, money manager, Oct. 20, 2007

About a year later, Madoff—who once headed the Nasdaq Stock Market—told investigators he had cost his investors $50 billion in an alleged Ponzi scheme.

10. “There’s growing evidence that parts of the debt markets…are coming back to life.” —Peter Coy and Mara Der Hovanesian, BusinessWeek, Oct. 1, 2007.

Oops.

I think this speaks for itself.

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Wednesday, December 31, 2008 by Myke.

After I read the below story, I actually got mad at this moron!  All I could say after reading it was, “So help me God, if I ever see this Michael Newdow I will punch him in the nuts”.  He has tried twice before and has lost so he thinks that three times a charm.  He is suing to remove the statement ‘So help me God’ from the inauguration speech ceremony for Barack Obama.  While we are at it, maybe we can also remove it from all currency here in the US and while we are at that we can ask that all churches remove any and all signs from their buildings.  Maybe this Michael Newdow can even call God and ask him to remove his name from the Holy Bible.  I am not even in the least bit religious but this guy is a f**k tard!

A number of atheists and non-religious organizations want Barack Obama’s inauguration ceremony to leave out all references to God and religion. 

In a lawsuit filed Tuesday in Washington, the plaintiffs demand that the words “so help me God” not be added to the end of the president’s oath of office.

In addition, the lawsuit objects to plans for ministers to deliver an invocation and a benediction in which they may discuss God and religion.

An advance copy of the lawsuit was posted online by Michael Newdow, a California doctor and lawyer who has filed similar and unsuccessful suits over inauguration ceremonies in 2001 and 2005.

Joining Newdow in the suit are groups advocating religious freedom or atheism, including the American Humanist Association, the Freedom from Religion Foundation and atheist groups from Minnesota; Seattle, Washington; and Florida.

The new lawsuit says in part, “There can be no purpose for placing ’so help me God’ in an oath or sponsoring prayers to God, other than promoting the particular point of view that God exists.”

Newdow said references to God during inauguration ceremonies violate the Constitution’s ban on the establishment of religion.

Newdow and other plaintiffs say they want to watch the inaugural either in person or on television. As atheists, they contend, having to watch a ceremony with religious components will make them feel excluded and stigmatized.

“Plaintiffs are placed in the untenable position of having to choose between not watching the presidential inauguration or being forced to countenance endorsements of purely religious notions that they expressly deny,” according to the lawsuit.

Among those named in the lawsuit are Chief Justice of the United States John Roberts, who is expected to swear in the new president; the Presidential Inauguration Committee; the Joint Congressional Committee on Inauguration Ceremonies and its chairwoman, Sen. Dianne Feinstein of California; and the Armed Forces Inaugural Committee and its commander, Maj. Gen. Richard Rowe Jr.

The two ministers scheduled to participate in the ceremony also are named: the Rev. Rick Warren and the Rev. Joseph Lowery. The document includes a quotation from Warren on atheists: “I could not vote for an atheist because an atheist says, ‘I don’t need God.’ “

Newdow told CNN that he didn’t name President-elect Barack Obama in the suit because in addition to participating as a government official at the ceremony, he possesses rights as an individual that allow him to express religious beliefs.

“If he chooses to ask for God’s help, I’m not going to challenge him,” Newdow said. “I think it’s unwise.”

Newdow said that as a member of a racial minority, Obama should have respect for atheists, who also are members of a minority.

Newdow said religious references in the inauguration ceremony send a message to non-believers.

“The message here is, we who believe in God are the righteous, the real Americans,” he said.

Newdow said it’s unconstitutional to imply that atheists and others are not as good.

He acknowledged that his suit is unlikely to be successful.

“I have no doubt I’ll lose,” he said, adding that he hoped to eventually succeed through appeals and hoped future inauguration ceremonies would exclude religious references.

Lawsuit seeks to take out ‘So help me God’

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Wednesday, December 31, 2008 by Myke.

On behalf of myself and…well…okay I am lying a bit here.  Actually on behalf of Britain’s National Physical Laboratory we are all getting one extra second tonight to correct the Coordinated Universal Time (UTC).  Due to the earth spinning way out of control we all lost a second over the last year.  I KNEW IT!  It felt like we lost something somewhere…serious.  My guess is that one of the “retarded” Global Warming freaks is going to blame this on Global Warming.  Dumb asses.

My question is, how does anyone know exactly how time is tracked?  I mean, did Jesus or God or Budda or some freak alien come up to someone a long time ago and say…”Hey, so this is how time is kept”?  I actually want a full explanation as to how anyone knows for a fact that we live by seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months and years.  This all goes back to things that me go hmm.  Why is the sky blue?  Because it is a reflection of the ocean.  Why is the ocean blue?  Because it is a reflection of the sky.  I am a firm believer that the movies The Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy, The Matrix and The Happening are the best depictions of our World and how it all works.  *CAUTION:  Movie spoiler coming up*  In the Hitch hikers guide, the Earth is built by another life form just like we build cities and buildings.  Makes sense being that every project has its flaws and mistakes.  In the Matrix we are just cattle being herded around by a higher technology.  If you make it out and are good enough to figure it all out…they are try and kill you off for good.  Better yet, f you do not believe in aliens maybe you can follow The Happening.  This movie shows us how plants, trees, bushes and grass can take control of everyone.  My take on that movie was that it was Mother Nature’s way of controlling the World’s population.  I know folks, we could go on forever here.  Anyways, here is the complete story.  You can accept the extra second or be a rebel and cheer 1 second ahead of everyone else tonight.  I plan on drinking enough Jaeger/Bing Cherry shots that it will not matter to me anymore. 

Immediately before midnight a leap second — the first for three years — will be added to atomic clocks around the world by official timekeepers.

Peter Whibberley, a senior research scientist at Britain’s National Physical Laboratory, said the Earth’s erratic rotation meant an extra second needed to be added.

“The difference between atomic time and Earth time has now built up to the point where it needs to be corrected, so this New Year’s Eve we will experience a rare 61 second minute at the very end of 2008 and revelers… will have an extra second to celebrate.”

Traditionally time has been based on the passage of the Sun across the sky — a modern version of this is still used by astronomers to track distant stars and spacecraft.

However, since 1967, an atomic timescale — the extremely accurate Coordinated Universal Time (UTC) — has been the world’s official clock and is used for broadcasting time signals across the world.

The accuracy of UTC is essential for the smooth running of GPS and the Internet.

By comparison, the Earth is far less reliable. It does not rotate at a constant speed — it can even wobble — and disruptions to its core, extreme weather, volcanic eruptions and earthquakes can influence the length of a day.

Therefore, leap seconds are occasionally added to align atomic time with astronomical time and ensure that the Sun remains overhead at noon.

Whibberley told British media anyone sober enough and who had a digital clock that picked up leap second information from a reliable source, would see the final seconds of 2008 as 57, 58, 59, 60, 00 — with 60 being the extra second.

Time added to 2008

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Tuesday, December 30, 2008 by Myke.

Back by popular demand, we are posting the website is down in full detail from youtube.com.  This is one of the greatest videos ever made and all credits go out to the guys over at http://www.thewebsiteisdown.com/.  Sit back, relax and enjoy.

Posted in Technology, Funny | Print | No Comments »

Tuesday, December 30, 2008 by Myke.

Some time ago I was cruising through the Internet when a friend sent me a video link from youtube.com.  I went and laughed my ass off, seriously…it fell off.  Ever since then I have been hooked on Bo Burnham.  He is funny, smart, talented and full of thoughts from my head.  I know, scary thought isn’t it?!?  He has since become quite the Internet hero and legend, almost as high as the Star Wars kid.  :-)  Except Bo is actually talented unlike the short bus drool bucket wearing Star Wars kid.  All I can hope for is that someone somewhere will give this kid a shot with some serious background music.  Maybe we can get him hooked up with Ronald Jenkees and he can cut him some beats for Bo to through down some lyrics on.

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