Tuesday, June 30, 2009 by Myke.

So you go to the sperm bank, you check the list of donors and pick one out finally.  His qualities are as follows:

• very funny famous comedian
• was a star on SNL
• has stared in multiple movies
• is a comic icon

You decide this is the one, I will have the baby of all babies and he or she will be famous just like their father was…then you notice something.  Your daughter is born…she has a strange but familiar smile…she is cute but in a weird sort of way.  Over the course of her first months of being alive you just cannot place where you have seen her face before…then it hits you like a ton of bricks!

Your daughter is the spawn of one of the greatest comedians of all time!  LONG LIVE CHRIS FARLEY!

Posted in WTF, Funny | Print | 1 Comment »

Tuesday, June 30, 2009 by Myke.

I am posting this for one simple reason, my step-father the math magician guru wizard.  Could math actually teach our children how to survive and live better in the future?  Could math solve our economic problems?  Well, growing up I hated math and just about every subject in school.  Today, I educate myself everyday and will until the day I die.  Math was always my worst subject but today I consider myself a good math person.  Watching this video and listening to this guy I actually think he has a very solid point.  If we were to teach our children the needed tools of math and not focus so much on the ridiculous parts of math, maybe kids would understand things better.  Okay, starting to ramble so I need to let you watch the video.  Does he have a point?

Posted in The Facts | Print | No Comments »

Monday, June 29, 2009 by Myke.

I must first warn you that if you are a fan of Michael Jackson’s you may want to move past this article as this will either really piss you off or finally open your eyes.  I want to first start out by saying that I was once a fan of his music and his ability to perform.  But as time went on and he started to change/transform into the pasty white thing he called his true self…I began to understand he was actually sick in the head.

I believe he is actually sick in the head with a very serious illness I like to call whiteenvitous.  He wanted to change his appearance to become a white man with a pointy nose.  My only thought I can think of is that he saw the Catholic Priests having their way with little boys and being protected that he thought being the pop icon he was he would get away with it as well.  People, the guy molested young boys and had three ways with the boys and his pet monkey at Neverland Ranch.  The guy was sick!  Over the course of 15+ years the guy had God knows how many surgeries and every one fo them made his nose smaller and his skin more ghostly.  The guy was wasting away before everyone’s eyes and he was getting away with child molestation.  Oh, so you think the molestation charges were bogus???  Why would he have said his most famous line when asked if he slept with those boys in his own bed, “Why can’t you share your bed?”???  He is a sick and twisted person with a very sad ending to his career and legacy.  Notice the rather strange “is” remark?  That’s right, he is not actually dead folks.  He is alive and well.

His autopsy was performed by a hired medical staff, not the City of LA.  It was said to be inconclusive with no real proof of the cause.  WTF?!?  If the freak did in fact wake up that day, pass a mirror in the hall and scare himself to death, an autopsy would prove that.  If he in fact died of a true heart attack, an autopsy would prove that.  Why is his life long manager’s 911 call so damn calm?  If your bread and butter just fell to the ground and was not breathing and his heart was not pulsing…wouldn’t you be calling in a fit of panic and hysteria?  Face it people, he is alive and well and going into hiding.  Want proof?

*takes a deep breath*

The mother f***er is going into hiding and will have numerous surgeries to make him black again and give himself a nice big ethnic nose somewhere between an ugly Italian woman and a gorilla.  Once that is done he will be placed into the church somewhere.  At this point he will again have access to small boys of all races and creeds.  He will be known in the “church-hood” as Father Beatett, pronounced as BEAT-IT!  He will tell his followers that the spirit of Michael Jackson is running through his veins and he will start dancing like him and singing like him.  People from all over the globe will follow him and flock to him.  Hell, some folks may even offer up their first born to him.  He is a sick and twisted person who deserves to rot in hell for all of eternity.  Is that a little harsh?  No, I truly believe every single person that rapes, molests or hurts children in any way should get the same treatment.  I just feel more hate towards this freak because people actually felt sorry for him.  On top of all of this is the fact that he is more than $400 million dollars in debt.  The day they announced his death…his record sales hit the sky and have not slowed down yet.  he is making more money right now than he has in the last 10+ years.  On top of that he can no longer be sued for not performing at his sold out shows.  he can no longer be sued for touching little boys.  He can longer be held liable for Neverland Ranch.

Mark my words people…he will rise up and make a fool out of every person that has ever followed him.  Including me.  And to think I used to dance like him because it was the cool thing to do when I was a kid.

*drops the microphone on the stage and moons the crowd*

Posted in Rant, Hater, Music/Movie | Print | 3 Comments »

Sunday, June 28, 2009 by Myke.

I want to say congratulations to Team USA in a great FIFA Cup run this year.  We finished 2nd and were very close to beating Brazil or at least sending it into OT.  They played strong in the 2nd round but Brazil proved to be just too much.  Either way, they played great!

Posted in Good Feeling, Pro Sports, Fitness | Print | No Comments »

Wednesday, June 24, 2009 by Myke.

I watched this video and went straight outside and whoop my neighbor’s ass…well, okay maybe not really but I bet I could have if I was not so tired.  Anyway, great video cut and very well put together.  Any video with Sloth gets an auto two thumbs up in my book.

Posted in De-Motivational, Music/Movie, Funny | Print | 1 Comment »

Wednesday, June 24, 2009 by Myke.

“Gentlemen, start…your…banjos!…”

Every ethnic group has a sad gene pool, for us white folk we have White Trash.  There are many names for them but today we will refer to them as White Trash.

*scene - Dallas, TX trailer park, 1 white trash man, 3 white trash women*

I read the story and for the life of me I could not figure out how it happened or why someone would put themselves in that situation.  I mean the picture of the guy is sad enough with his old grey mullet and wanna be silver bling.  I read the story a few times to fully absorb everything and I still shake my head in disbelief.  This guy is living with his wife and girlfriend and his girlfriend’s Mom lives right there as well…my guess is the trailer next door.  This story did however remind of the old Jerry Springer days.  Okay, enough said…you read the story and be the judge.

A Dallas woman reportedly stabbed her husband’s girlfriend in the stomach with a screwdriver Monday because she said she wanted the child dead, according to reports.

Gaston County Police charged Tabtha K. Logeias, 32, with assault with serious bodily injury, simple assault and communicating threats. She is accused of stabbing 24-year-old Patty Love Simmons, who is six weeks pregnant, in the left side of the abdomen with a sharpened, 6-inch screwdriver, according to arrest warrants and affidavits.

The incident occurred about 5:38 p.m. on the street near Simmons’ residence on Hillcrest Road, which is located off Dallas Bessemer City Highway. Simmons required emergency treatment at Gaston Memorial Hospital, according to a warrant. The hospital declined to release information on her condition at the request of the patient, according to a nursing supervisor.

Simmons’ mother, Patsy May, 58, was also treated at the hospital for an injured arm she suffered when Logeais grabbed her wrist, twisted it and forced her to the ground, according to warrants. May was attempting to pull Tabtha Logeias off her daughter when she was assaulted, according to a warrant affidavit written by Gaston County Police Officer J.D. Thompson.

Tabtha Logeais’ husband, Wade Logeais, arrived on the scene about an hour after the incident and said he has been living in the same home with his wife and Simmons for some time. He said the three have been arguing lately, and that his wife called him at work earlier Monday and told him, “I’m going to kill that baby.”

Tabtha Logeais allegedly repeated that threat to Simmons, which led to the communicating threat charge, according to the warrant.

Logeais said he is the father of Simmons’ unborn child, and that’s why his wife was so angry.

“It’s my kid,” he said Monday, a few feet from the scene of the stabbing.

The mobile home where Wade and Tabtha Logeais live with Simmons is just down the street from Simmons’ mother’s home. Neighbor Jessica Kirkland said she saw Tabtha Logeais carrying Simmons’ clothes down to May’s home and throwing them in a pile by the street about 5:30 p.m.

“She was kicking her out of the house,” said Kirkland. “She was talking about how she was going to stab her in the stomach to make sure she didn’t have that baby. She thinks that’s her husband’s baby, evidently.”

When Simmons approached Tabtha Logeais, Logeais punched her in the side of the head and the two began fighting, Kirkland said. Logeais then stabbed her with the screwdriver.

“Patty started yelling, “I’ve been stabbed, I’ve been stabbed!” said Kirkland. “That’s when I saw something yellow and black sticking out of her stomach. It was the (screwdriver) handle.”

Kirkland said she pulled out the screwdriver, which had gone in about an inch deep.

“She was screaming in pain,” Kirkland said.

After fighting with May, Logeais realized neighbors were calling 911 and dove through the open window of her car to drive away, said nearby resident Cathy Sanders. But another neighbor prevented her from leaving.

When police arrived, witnesses said Logeais ran up the street to meet them, Sanders said.

“She took off running up the road and was screaming, ‘Here I am, Here I am! I’m the one you want!’” Sanders said.

Logeais was held at the Gaston County Jail on a $50,000 bond.

Story link

Posted in Rant, WTF, Funny | Print | 3 Comments »

Friday, June 12, 2009 by Myke.

I remember watching Leave it to Beaver as a kid and of course The Brady Bunch, but was that how life really was???  Actually it was very much like that.  Men worked, kids played and went to school and the wives cooked and cleaned.  So when did we transform into this sex crazed, hectic and fast paced lifestyle where everyone works and the kids are little devils with attitudes and cell phones?  Well for me I can remember my Mom working her entire life so she was never a stay at home Mom until she retired.  As a society we have changed so much over the years it makes me wonder what will change next and what will we look at as being okay.  When I was a kid and the Sear’s catalog or National Geographic would arrive in the mail and I was all ready to go explore the world of mastu…um maybe that is too much information.  That was all that arrived that was even close to being open mail for all to see.  Of course Pop’s got the Playboy or the Penthouse Forum, but those were sealed tight for no one to see until the parent’s left the house. 

Today…WOW how times have changed.  Let’s start with Frederick’s of Hollywood; hello TnAwith some hot chicas.  Man if that showed up in the mail when I was a kid I would have gone blind by the age of 12 easily.  Then there is the Victoria’s Secret (which has not been a secret for years) and my favorite…drum roll please…Adam and Eve.  Where would we be today without the greatest company on the planet?  Thanks to Adam and Eve I can tell you what everyone in this World finds hot and sexy and orders on a regular basis.  I mean they tag some items as “Customer Favorite” or “Hottest Reviews”.  And folks, that is just what comes in the mail.  Think about TV and how it has changed.  Way too much to discuss here today.

Let’s get back to the old days and have some fun with old school ads.  After I saw these ads I actually was laughing at how bad of a lawsuit that would get filed today if someone tried to use this kind of advertisement in today’s society.  Enjoy as always.

p.s.  I do not endorse these Ads in any way…I just find them funny as hell!

Posted in The Facts, WTF, Funny | Print | 1 Comment »

Thursday, June 11, 2009 by Myke.

We all know that steroids has become a big impact on professional sports.  Everyone has their opinion on the issue and everyone has their feelings about the professional sports record books.  One thing that folks need to understand is that steroids is nothing new, it has been here for years and will always be here.  To hear a sad story about a high school athlete dying from using steroids, the flip side to that story is he/she is not alone.  Kids have been dying since before I was a kid.  On top of that we add HGH (human growth hormone) which folks like Sly are advocates of it.  Does it hurt sports?  Does it kill you?  Is it destroying the World as we know it?  Yes, it can and no.  Steroids is just another illegal drug on the street that people use and some people over-use.  When I say over-use…I mean OVER F***ING USE!

I think professional sports has taken the right approach in longer suspensions for violations but is it enough?!?  What if players knew that after testing positive once you were banned for 5 years and if you test positive once more it is a lifetime ban?  Would they stop using performance enhancing drugs?  My best guess is that a vast majority would stop but you would still have the retards (Barry Bonds) that think they can still hide it and everyone will believe they are innocent.  Now I am fan of just about every professional sport there is and have had my fair share of baseball games.  I have seen drug use, performance enhancing drug use and flat out cheating.  I do not think that steroids gives you the ability to hit 70+ homeruns a season…but it helps.  You still have to be able to hit a 90+ MPH fastball, hit an 11 o’clock to 5 o’clock curveball or a 50 MPH knuckleball that just drops right out of thin air and into the dirt before your eyes.

Bottom line is this, MLB, NFL, NASCAR (try not to laugh too much here), NHL, NBA and so on needs to put a lid on all of this.  Cheat once, gone for 5 years…cheat again and you are banned for life.  There is a huge supply of solid athletes that fans may never get to watch because of the drug use issue.  But if we started to ban these fruit cakes from day 1, professional sports would once again be a solid group of people to look up to…minus the athletes that murder, rape, beat women/children and kill dogs.  That is a whole separate post.

In conclusion (sorry I have always wanted to say that), I give you the Steroids Over F**KING Use Hall of Fame.

 80’s feathered hair and steroids.

 Arnold before and after.

 Anyone have a needle…I just want to run up and pop him.

 Dear Barry, when you grow 3 hat sizes and 100 pounds of muscle after your adult years…

 Carrot Top like you have never seen him before.

 One of Michael Vick’s suspended dogs.  Vick says the dog cheated. 

 I now pronounce you Mr and Mrs Gold.  Man when you fake and bake so much that the camera is not sure what to do with your color…you over did the tanning.

 Nobody wants to play.

 Is this a man or woman?  You be the judge.

 Baby got…back…

 ”My bicep is so huge!  Do you want to touch it?  I know you do!”

 I just want a hug is all.  Will you please give me a hug?

 Do I make you horny baby?  Do I?  YEAH BABY YEAH!  Okay I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.

 When other steroid users say you cheated…you may have overdone it a bit.

 After the successful head transplant, he was able to live and compete again.

 Please, for the love of GOD…PUT SOME DAMN CLOTHES ON!

 You know, there are folks that should wear a thong and others who should not.  You lady, should not!

 When two cousins have a child who then does steroids…

 I bet you were pretty one day.  What a waste.

 My guess is that they are both looking at the penis that just fell out of her bottoms.

Posted in Pro Sports, Rant, Fitness, Funny | Print | 1 Comment »

Wednesday, June 3, 2009 by Myke.

Have you ever wondered what the real meaning was behind the song Total Eclipse of the Heart?  I did and I also wondered what the heck the video was about.  But thanks to some folks over at eBaum’s World…questions have been answered.  Please enjoy.

Posted in Music/Movie, WTF, Funny | Print | 1 Comment »