Friday, February 27, 2009 by Myke.

I saw this video and had to share it with everyone.  This dog is freaking crazy and has one wild ass dream.  I am wondering if it was the postman or some booty he was chasing?  Either way, this video is funny.

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Friday, February 27, 2009 by Myke.

We have all seen them, driving while texting on the phone, talking on the phone, dialing on the phone, eating, putting on make-up, shaving, masturbating, having sex…but have you ever seen a woman breast feeding her child while driving?  Have you?  I can honestly say I have not seen this but would love to so I could say that I have.  I mean this has got to take some serious talent folks.  Hold the steering wheel, hold the baby and get the breast in the mouth.  Then their is the burping, that would take even more talent.  Now what if I told you this lady was not only breast feeding her child but she was also talking on the phone?!?  Folks that has got to be a record for multi-tasking while driving.  Now, thankfully police did not find this as amusing and she was issued two citations.

Okay you have to watch the video…please ignore her ignorance and stupidity.  She actually compares this incident to walking down the street.  WTF?!?

http://www.whiotv.com/news/18813161/detail.html

She also goes on to say that she will take the officer’s advise into consideration but if her child is hungry…she is gonna feed that child.  Now everyone knows I am not a racist, I just hate ignorant and stupid people.  This lady, she is one of the stupidest people I have ever seen.  All it would have taken is one accident, the air bag deploys and her child and her are both dead.  Darwin Award!

No offense to the lady, but Ms. Compton, take your ass back to school, learn to speak (it is ask not axe) and understand that if you get in an accident while wearing a seat belt and the air bag deploys…that is NOT the same as if you get into an accident while wearing a seat belt and breast feeding and the air bag goes off.  Lady, here is your sign…

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Friday, February 27, 2009 by Myke.

“…and another one bites the dust…”

Everybody knows my feelings on Focus on the Family and Dobson and so on and will not be surprised about this post at all.

http://ihatemykereinhold.com/2008/08/07/focus-on-the-family-retardville/

Now, if you are easily offended or are very religious and think Focus on the Family is the all knowing world power…please get off of my website and read another verse from whatever book it is you are lead by and pray for me as a sinner of God.  I am here to offend and educate and bring the world the facts…with a slight opinion of my own. 

So today James Dobson has stepped down from his role as board chairman of Focus on the Family.  OMG what will they ever do without his grand and wise leadership?  Maybe realize that he is full of **** and hate.  He is one of the most hateful people this world has ever seen.  I mean he flat out hates the gays…because gay men do not find him attractive I guess or that Ted Haggard was able to get some gay love and he was not able to.  Who knows but I am willing to bet it was because Haggard could score with the fellas and Dobson was rejected.

I have a great idea for Dobson since he will have some free time on his hands…go to Salt Lake City and take a tour with the local Mormons.  See how they feel about him and let’s see if we can get a debate going.  I would even offer my self up as the third party in the debate.  I can see it now, Myke Reinhold -vs- James Dobson -vs- The Mormon Church with special guest referee Travis Sarbin.  Our debate questionnaire will be non other than Ian Smith.  The winner gets to take on Allah one on one for a key to the gates of hell.  Not trying to be biased or anything but my money is on myself.  To make this fair I would even allow Dobson to tag team with Ted Haggard…pun intended!

The story concludes that Dobson’s public role will not change.  He will continue to preach hate and slam as many gays as possible.  Sorry, had to throw in another gay joke for Dobson.

James Dobson - If you are reading this please feel free to email me, call me, stop by the house or what ever you want.  Hell, for that matter…oops…I mean…H E double hockey stick for that matter I would be willing to speak at this Sunday’s service at no charge.  I am only minutes away from Colorado Springs and I think it would be very educational fro us both.

p.s.  Crawl into a hole and piss off you hate filled f**k tard!

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Wednesday, February 25, 2009 by Myke.

*sung to John Denver’s Country Road*
“…Country road…take me home…to the place…I belong…F**king, Austria…sexy momma…take me home…country road…”

After much thought and the state of our economy, I decided it was time to move on and get away from this place.  We are packing up and moving to Austria…F**king, Austria.  I know it is pronounced as Fooking but still, how cool would it be to say you are from a small town in Austria called F**king?!?

I love it man.  Who is with me?  Come on folks…let’s dump this taco stand and head on over to Austria.  Anyone?  Maybe?  Wow, I have less friends that I actually thought I had.  Well…F**K YOU!  I am f**king moving to F**KING, AUSTRIA you f**kers!

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Wednesday, February 18, 2009 by Myke.

So I am leaving for beautiful (cough cough) Iowa tomorrow to visit family and basically get away from society/reality.  But I thought, how do I leave all you people happy while I am away?  Simple, let you decide who has the best beatbox as the President of the United States.  I am personally torn as to which I like better but every time I see the Bush lips pucker up like a hungry monkey…I laugh.  Without getting to political, enjoy and let us know what you think.

I am not promising anything but maybe while we are in Iowa we can get some footage of cow tipping and get a farmer to scream out in anger…”I Hate Myke Reinhold!”…”dot com”

Posted in Music/Movie, Funny | Print | 1 Comment »

Tuesday, February 17, 2009 by Myke.

No, not that Travis…Travis the 200-pound domesticated chimpanzee.  So the story goes, the chimp was depressed and bent about something then saw this woman who wore her hair different and he did not like it.  He then attacked her and put in her critical condition.  I am thinking this must have been a really bad hair style for this woman.

I know, it is sad they had to kill the monkey but that is life folks.  He was treated like any other criminal on Cops, you attack and you get shot to death.  If you read the story you will be able to laugh like I did…maybe.  This chimp was taking his own showers, he was toilet trained, he drank wine (first clue to possible homosexuality), and he was a hair critic (final clue he was swinging on the other branch…if you know what I mean).

Okay, so this is a bad post…it has been a rather boring day in the news.

HARTFORD, Conn. (AP) — A 200-pound domesticated chimpanzee who once starred in TV commercials for Old Navy and Coca-Cola was shot dead by police after a violent rampage that left a friend of its owner badly mauled.

Sandra Herold, who owned the 15-year-old chimp named Travis, wrestled with the animal after it inexplicably attacked her friend Charla Nash, 55.

Nash had gone to Herold’s home Monday to help her coax the chimp back into the house after he got out, police said. After the animal lunged at Nash when she got out of her car, Herold ran inside to call 911 and returned armed.

“She retrieved a large butcher knife and stabbed her longtime pet numerous times in an effort to save her friend, who was really being brutally attacked,” said Stamford police Capt. Richard Conklin.

Nash was in critical condition Tuesday after suffering what Stamford Mayor Dannel Malloy called “life-changing, if not life-threatening,” injuries to her face and hands.

“There was no provocation that we know of. One thing that we’re looking into is that we understand the chimpanzee has Lyme disease and has been ill from that, so maybe from the medications he was out of sorts. We really don’t know,” Conklin said.

After the initial attack, Travis ran away and started roaming Herold’s property until police arrived, setting up security so medics could reach the critically injured woman, Conklin said.

But the chimpanzee returned and went after several of the officers, who retreated into their cars, Conklin said. Travis knocked the mirror off a cruiser before opening its door and starting to get in, trapping the officer.

That officer shot the chimpanzee several times, Conklin said.

The wounded chimpanzee fled the scene, but Conklin said police were able to follow the trail of his blood: down the driveway, into the open door of the home, through the house and to his living quarters, where he had retreated and died of his wounds.

Herold and two officers also received minor injuries, police said.

A message seeking comment was left Monday night at Herold’s home.

Conklin told reporters the chimp was acting so agitated earlier that afternoon that Herold gave him the anti-anxiety drug Xanax in some tea. Conklin also suggested the animal may have attacked Nash because she was wearing her hair differently and perhaps wasn’t recognized.

The chimpanzee was well-known around Stamford because he rode around in trucks belonging to the towing company operated by his owners.

Police have dealt with him in the past, including an incident in 2003 when he escaped from his owners’ vehicle in downtown Stamford for two hours. Officers used cookies, macadamia treats and ice cream in an attempt to lure him, but subdued him only after he became too tired to resist.

At the time of the 2003 incident, police said the Herolds told them the chimpanzee was toilet trained, dressed himself, took his own bath, ate at the table and drank wine from a stemmed glass. He also brushed his teeth using a Water Pik, logged onto the computer to look at pictures, and watched television using the remote control, police said.

When he was younger, Travis appeared on TV commercials for Old Navy and Coca-Cola, made an appearance on the Maury Povich Show and took part in a television pilot, according to a 2003 story in The Advocate newspaper of Stamford.

“He’s been raised almost like a child by this family,” Conklin said Monday. “He rides in a car every day, he opens doors, he’s a very unique animal in that aspect. We have no indication of what provoked this behavior at all.”

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Wednesday, February 11, 2009 by Myke.

Personally I was 11 years old in the 6th grade and graduated at the age of 17.  I am asking this question because of a story that surfaced about a teacher tricking her student into having sex.  Let me lay down the facts here…the boy in question is 14 years old…he is in elementary school…he was tricked into having sex with his teacher who he thought was his girlfriend.  *tears pouring out of my eyes*  I cannot stop laughing over here, seriously.

So this teacher took her god-daughters phone, sent text messages to her god-daughter’s boyfriend inviting him to the Best Western (teacher’s salary remember) for sex.  She says she did this to protect her god-daughter’s virginity from this 14 year old elementary school student.  *still grinning*  He claims he had no idea it was his teacher until his phone lit up the room after having sex and he saw it was his teacher.  Whom by the way is butt ass ugly.  Knowing that he is 14 years old and still in elementary school, I can understand how he got tricked into sex but damn…that teacher better not look anything like his girlfriend.

Why is a 14 year old still in elementary school?

Why are elementary school students going to the local Best Western to have sex?

Since when do you just walk into a room with the lights off and start having sex with whoever is in the bed?

Why are the reporters and parents not asking the same damn questions?

Posted in WTF, Funny | Print | 2 Comments »

Monday, February 9, 2009 by Myke.

If you are anything like me, you are sick and tired of the state of our economy.  I am tired of the so called bailout plans that fix nothing.  We are giving the money grubbing groups of America more money to waste but yet there is no end in sight.  I am going to stand behind Obama but there has to be a time that everyone says that enough is enough.  As American’s we have sat to the side while banks, governments and over-paid executive’s have changed the way we live and act.  You can see it everywhere now; TV, magazines, radio and the Internet.  I remember when I was a kid and the Sears catalog women’s section and the Nation Geographic were as close as you could get to TnA unless you got a hold of nudy magazine.  Now we get Adam and Eve, Frederick’s of Hollywood and Victoria Secrets in the mail that could send a teenage boy into the bathroom for a masturbation marathon.  The same can be said for how we react as a society to how rules/regulations change and we just sit there and accept it…even if it hurts us.  Look around and listen to people, we bitch about everything but do nothing about it.

What would happen if the general public showed up in Washington DC and told our own government that enough was enough?  What if we told Obama that we do not want a stimulus package, we want you to use that money for education and small/medium businesses?  You would a new American Revolution on your hands, that’s what!  Is that what it would take to set the ship right?  Maybe.  Maybe what is needed is a solid 12 step program to save America once and for all.  Everyone that knows me understands that I am for the person who can fix things.  I am not Republican, Democratic or whatever else there is to be.  I am an American with a dream of a better place for my children.  I am an American that is for helping others without hurting anyone in the process.  Not many people know this but I have a pretty powerful friend in a pretty good place and his name is Newt Gingrich.  Do not ask how we met or why I would be friends with him.  The man has as many good ideas as some different ideas.  You may not believe in this man or want to listen to him, but maybe if you took 10 minutes to read the following, you might think a little different about him.  We have come up with a 12 step program that I feel is going to work, if it can be accepted.

Washington solutions of more money for more government, more power for politicians, more debt, and more bureaucrats will not lead to real growth in jobs and prosperity.

We need a clear and decisive alternative that creates jobs and rewards work, saving, and investment.

12 American Solutions for Jobs and Prosperity

Payroll Tax Stimulus.  With a temporary new tax credit to offset 50% of the payroll tax, every small business would have more money, and all Americans would take home more of what they earn.
Real Middle-Income Tax Relief. Reduce the marginal tax rate of 25% down to 15%, in effect establishing a flat-rate tax of 15% for close to 9 out of 10 American workers.
Reduce the Business Tax Rate.  Match Ireland’s rate of 12.5% to keep more jobs in America.
Homeowner’s Assistance. Provide tax credit incentives to responsible home buyers so they can keep their homes.
Controlling Spending So We Can Move to a Balanced Budget.  This begins with eliminating Congressional earmarks and wasteful pork-barrel spending.
No State Aid Without Protection From Fraud.  Require state governments to adopt anti-fraud and anti-theft policies before giving them more money.
More American Energy Now. Explore for more American oil and gas and invest in affordable energy for the future, including clean coal, ethanol, nuclear power and renewable fuels.
Abolish Taxes on Capital Gains. Match China, Singapore and many other competitors. More investment in America means more jobs in America.
Protect Our Right to Vote in the Workplace. We must protect a worker’s right to decide by secret ballot whether to join a union.
Replace Sarbanes-Oxley.  This failed law is crippling entrepreneurial startups.  Replace it with affordable rules that help create jobs, not destroy them.
Abolish the Death Tax. Americans should work for their families, not for Washington.
Invest in Energy and Transportation Infrastructure. This includes a new, expanded electric power grid and a 21st century air traffic control system that will reduce delays in air travel and save passengers, employees and airlines billions of dollars per year.

Letter from Newt:

Dear Myke,

To his credit, President Obama said this weekend that “the American people know that our challenges are great.  They don’t expect Democratic solutions or Republican solutions - they expect American solutions.” We agree with that sentiment.

But this big government, pork-laden spending bill is not a solution. It is not change we can believe in. It is debt we can count on and wasteful spending we will have no control over.

Of course, Washington will never change unless we demand something different. We must present a clear and decisive alternative that contrasts starkly with the 778 page, almost $1 trillion debt package being voted on in the U.S. Senate.

The job creation engines of our economy are our small business men and women, our innovators and entrepreneurs. The consolidation of money and power in Washington will only make their job harder.

Here is what you can do: Read and understand this plan. If you support it, endorse it and become an advocate now. If you don’t, then let us know how we can improve it.  Our jobs, our prosperity and our place in the world are at stake. We cannot afford to cripple future generations with massive debt.  Please read the plan, endorse it, and forward it to your friends and family.

Your friend,
 
Newt

P.S. If you have not already called your Senators to oppose the stimulus bill, it’s not too late. You can still make your voice heard.

“Remember, you cannot get rid of poverty by giving people money.  Instead, give them a job where they can earn their money.” - M Reinhold 2008

Posted in The Facts | Print | 1 Comment »

Monday, February 9, 2009 by Myke.

As if winning the election was not enough, now Obama has a new job…cleaning up the streets in the name of justice.

Yes folks, that is right.  Obama is now a action figure equipped with numerous weapons.  He has a katanas, 9mm gun, assault rifle, and a lightsaber.  Now all we need is a video of Obama dueling the Star Wars kid on youtube.com.  Man, what will we think of next?

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Monday, February 9, 2009 by Myke.

Facebook is great and all but whoever started this damn 25 things, should be strung up and stoned in the crotch.  I know folks, you like passing along questions to have folks fill them out but come on…really???  Why could this not be accomplished by…oh I don’t know…email or a phone call to one another?!?  That whole thing was like a homework assignment for the bored and unemployed.  The next thing you know they will create a movie about Facebook…oh wait, that is already in the works.  Maybe they will create a reality TV show about Facebook and the Wonderful 25 things…I will shoot you if you do…and I am a damn good shot folks.

I am also not the only person that hates this and thinks it is the biggest waste of time and money (because you know damn well that people are filling this out at work).  It has been said that as of today, roughly 7.25 million of these things have been filled out.  That is 181,250,000 awesome facts.  Let’s take a stab and say that about 50% was done at work, that is 3,625,000 of these things filled out and at an average wage of $8.50 per hour…that is a whopping $30,812,500!  Holy crap people!  Really?!?  And people wonder why companies have to lay people off.  It is because of crap like this and employees wasting time and not getting their DAMN JOB DONE!

25 Things I Didn’t Want to Know About You

ENOUGH! I don’t want to tell you 25 things!

Updated video

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