Tuesday, September 30, 2008 by Myke.

Chris - This is your music tribute.

Everyone else - Chris is kind of left in the dark on music and has not heard of quite a few of the songs.  Silly little white boy.

“Hot in Here” - Not the original but even better.

“I Like Dogs” - All I can say is…ghei with a beastiality fetish.

“Juke Box Hero” - This kid is cool and the song is great.

“Welcome to the Jungle” - This 80’s band with a freak of nature crack head for a lead singer.

“Apologize” - Timbaland featuring One Republic…this one is for the wife.

“2 Pump Chump” - Some half eaten oreo cookie wannabe group giving us the truth.

“Ali baba sand gigger money theme” - My tribute to the bitches in the sand. If you listen carefully, I swear he is singing about being a retard.

And last but not least, the tribute to music from the 20’s to the 00’s.

My point here Chris is simple. Expand your music collection and listening habits. It is okay to be a white boy once in a while.

Posted in Music/Movie, Funny | Print | 2 Comments »

Tuesday, September 30, 2008 by Myke.

Let me first start off by saying this, I am down with the Downs.  If you are not quite sure what Downs is…Down syndrome, Down’s syndrome, or trisomy 21 is a chromosomal disorder caused by the presence of all or part of an extra 21st chromosome. It is named after John Langdon Down, the British doctor who described the syndrome in 1866. The disorder was identified as a chromosome 21 trisomy by Jérôme Lejeune in 1959. The condition is characterized by a combination of major and minor differences in structure. Often Down syndrome is associated with some impairment of cognitive ability and physical growth as well as facial appearance. Down syndrome can be identified during pregnancy or at birth.

Individuals with Down syndrome tend to have a lower than average cognitive ability, often ranging from mild to moderate developmental disabilities. A small number have severe to profound mental disability. The incidence of Down syndrome is estimated at 1 per 800 to 1,000 births, although these statistics are heavily influenced by the age of the mother. Other factors may also play a role.

Many of the common physical features of Down syndrome also appear in people with a standard set of chromosomes. They may include a single transverse palmar crease (a single instead of a double crease across one or both palms, also called the Simian crease), an almond shape to the eyes caused by an epicanthic fold of the eyelid, upslanting palpebral fissures (the separation between the upper and lower eyelids), shorter limbs, poor muscle tone, a larger than normal space between the big and second toes, and protruding tongue. Health concerns for individuals with Down syndrome include a higher risk for congenital heart defects, gastroesophageal reflux disease, recurrent ear infections, obstructive sleep apnea, and thyroiddysfunctions.

Now that we are all aware of Downs is, let’s get to the story behind the post.  I was reading a story todaythat actually made me smile (not in the haha you dumb-ass smile but the happy I feel good smile).  I think this story deserves to be read and understoodby all.  Just because you scream out in laughter and joy and have your own Olympics does not make you a smaller or lesser of a person.  The truth is this, you live life better than a majority of people all over the world.  You see life for the good and the fun.  We normally see life as being broke, living pay check to pay check, political b.s., war, death and what ever else brings us down.  I am actually jealous of most Downs people because they can look at everything as being good.

Zach Wincent is 19 years old and lives his life by the “Zach Attack” code.  He is currently in Community College, has climbed The Great Wall of China, coaches hockey and was voted Prom King.  I was never the Prom King, more like the Prom Drunk Party King.  I have never been to China let alone climbed The Great Wall of China.

Growing up Zach was made fun of by a lot of kids in his neighborhood.  Why?  Because they were uneducated sperm hatch-lings.  Why do we make fun of people?  Very simple, it makes us feel better for some reason.  Everyone has made a comment about someone and for no reason at all.  I do it and maybe it is wrong but it is my way of enjoying life.  I like to go out and people watch and say as I please.  Is it wrong, sure it is…but I still do it.  But if I were to meet Zach I would shake his hand and pronounce him as the man.

There is an old saying, “The giveth and the lord taketh”.  Zach may have Downs, but he lives life to the fullest.

“Zach, you da man dog!”

http://www.cnn.com/2008/HEALTH/conditions/09/30/adult.down.syndrome/index.html

Posted in Good Feeling | Print | 1 Comment »

Friday, September 26, 2008 by Myke.

Have you ever been walking down the street or driving in your car and see something that is so damn crazy you just have to shout OMFG, WTF?!?  I have and after seeing these photos…well…you be the judge.

     Is it me or does this look like Britney Spears???  “Feed me baby one more time”

     “Sir-Mix-A-Lot, calling Sir-Mix-A-Lot…we have found your back you were looking for.”

      Big can be beautiful…but damn, that is far from big and beautiful.

  I have heard of dreadlocks and burnt Cheetos, but s**t locks…that is a new one for me.  I wonder, if you lick his hair do you get really…really jacked up and stoned.

     “…Myyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy milkshake brings all the boys to the yard…”

Posted in WTF | Print | 2 Comments »

Friday, September 26, 2008 by Myke.

We have all had those moments in our life when we are seconds away from a very painful encounter.  Whether it be watching a toddler come running at you with your hands full and they make a mad dash at your nuts.  No stopping it, it just happens.  Well, we have now got photo proof of the moments right before the agony of pain.  I warn you now, some of these are very painful in the making.

I am sorry but the bull horn through the shin and up the ass are the worst for me.

Posted in Funny | Print | 2 Comments »

Friday, September 26, 2008 by Myke.

Good morning class, today we will be talking about demotivation and why it is good for society.  In today’s World we need motivation as well as demotivation to counter balance life.  If everyone was motivated then what would there be to accomplish in life?  Now many of you are under the impression that a good motivational poster will help you feel empowered and strong.  But in all actuality it can cause just the opposite.  That is why we need good demotivation.  if you see something stupid, you will always do your best to not do the same thing.  If you see a very fat and lazy person, it will make you want to walk a little further in hopes of not becoming Jabba the Butt.  So that brings us to today’s lesson of demotivation.

And that concludes today’s class.

Posted in De-Motivational, Funny | Print | 1 Comment »

Wednesday, September 24, 2008 by Myke.

Okay wait a minute here.  How is this news?  We already knew he was having a baby, http://ihatemykereinhold.com/2008/05/30/clay-aiken-to-be-a-father/ and you will notice that we also declared him a professional sword fighter.

Anyways, Clay decided to come out to the World via People magazine.

“It was the first decision I made as a father,” Aiken, 29, tells the upcoming issue of PEOPLE, on newsstands Friday. “I cannot raise a child to lie or to hide things. I wasn’t raised that way, and I’m not going to raise a child to do that.”

Okay, we are proud you came out, but maybe next time someone could come out of the closet that is not so damn obvious (another Lance Bass moment).

Posted in Funny | Print | 1 Comment »

Tuesday, September 23, 2008 by Myke.

…bitch!  Why do you have to be so damn sensitive?  Maybe she was just making more room in the elevator for you.  Ever think of that you racist little turd?!?

Posted in Funny | Print | 5 Comments »

Tuesday, September 23, 2008 by Myke.

I can actually listen to this song now…with a smile. 

Posted in Funny | Print | 4 Comments »

Tuesday, September 23, 2008 by Myke.

Everyone remembers those things that go bump in the night right?  Did you ever think to yourself what kind of trauma can be caused to your little child?

Posted in Funny | Print | 3 Comments »

Monday, September 22, 2008 by Myke.

It all started out as a great Sunday after an even better Saturday.  Saturday night was Poker Night at an undisclosed location and the winner was my wife.  We woke up Sunday morning and went and ate some good old fashioned French Breakfast with some friends.  After breakfast it was back to the house, clean up and get dressed to take the wife to her favorite football teams home game.  My wife is a big time Denver Broncos fan and I am a die hard Minnesota Vikings fan.  Some say a bleed purple and others say that during massive angry outbursts I usually shout “SKOL!”.

Anyways, we pack up and head out for Investco Field to watch the Broncos play the Saints.  Nothing like sitting through a game and rooting on a team just to show your wife you do really love her.  But that is when and where the “crazy football fan” came out of me.  I was cheering and rooting on the Broncos and booing the Saints all night.  Towards the end of the game it started to get rather close and it was not looking so good for the Broncos.  They had turned the ball over and the Saints were starting to drive down the field.  Now before we begin the drama of the end of this story, you must understand one thing.  I HATE Martin “built like a horse jockey” Gramatica, the place kicker for the Saints.  Why?  Because he is an annoying little turd of a football player and to hear him pout about kicks is the last thing anyone wants to listen to.

So anyways, the Saints march down the field with about 10 minutes left and score a touchdown to make it 34-32 Broncos.  The Saints line up for a 2-point conversion and we all stood tall and screamed and whistled as loud as possible to become the ever dangerous 12th man on the field to help the defense.  It worked and the Saints 2-point conversion failed.  Whew!  I am not a Bronco fan but damn that was fun.  So the Broncos get the ball and start marching right back down the field and all looks good…until…no way…could it really happen…yes it can…the Broncos march to the 5 yard line of the Saints and fumble the ball and turn it over.  Then without any problems at all, the Saints march down the field all the way to the Broncos 25 yard line and line up for the game winning 43 yard field goal.That is when it happened folks.  The Minnesota Vikings fan that hates this place kicker that is called Automatic Gramatica came to life and helped the Denver Broncos seal their ticket to becoming 3-0 on the year.  The Saints line up and the crowd starts to scream for the defense, people clapping and screaming and whistling and doing whatever they could to stop this field goal.  But off to the East of the kicker and the rest of the Saints team is this thunderous load banging…almost like gun shots from a Remington 10-gauge.  Fans start to take notice, fans start to feel very uncomfortable.  The fans feel this way as if they are watching two helmet wearing retards fight on the playground.  They watch but with utter fear as they cannot figure out how one single man could make that much noise.  The stomping and banging gets louder and more thunderous.  The football is snapped…the thunderous stomp is echoing through the stadium…Gramatica steps into the kick right as a huge “KABOOM” sound is heard and the kick sails wide right of the uprights!  Oh my god, the easy 43 yard field goal is missed and the Broncos are saved.  At this point, as I stop and look around, the seats are clearing and fans are looking at me like my nose is falling off.  Then right next to my wife and I a guy says, “Holy crap man, that foot stomping scared the kick off its mark.  You are the man!”.  Thank you, your welcome.

So to all of the Saints fans in the crowd, the crazy foot stomper sitting in Section 127, row 33 seat 5 was me, Myke Reinhold.  You can now join the list of haters, we welcome you to my world.  :-)

p.s.  I can honestly admit I have never been to a football game in my life where I can walk away with a sun burn.  I look like I was on the lake in 90+ degree weather.  But no, I was sitting in a late September game watching the Broncos beat the Saints.

p.s.s.  The Vikings won their first game of the season as well.  SKOL Vikings! 

Posted in Pro Sports, Funny | Print | No Comments »