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Gender Translation - female to male

Posted By Myke On Saturday, August 23, 2008 @ 21:09 In Funny | 2 Comments

Have you ever wondered what the female gender is really saying?  Okay, come on men, I am not alone here.  There have been thousands of times I have misunderstood the female gender.  It does not make you a bad person, it is just a lack of knowledge.  We have put together a list of words and phrases along with there “meaning” that might help you out in the future.  Rest assured, this has been tested and approved by my favorite woman in the world, Lilmedmamma.

Fine- This is the word women use to end an argument when they know they are right.  We need to shut up immediately.

Five minutes - If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour.  Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

Nothing - This is the calm before the storm.  “Nothing” to a woman means something, and you should be on your toes.  Arguments that begin with “nothing” usually end in “fine”.

Go ahead - This is a dare, not permission.  Don’t do it!

The famous loud sigh - This is not actually a word but a very important non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men.  A loud sigh means she is wasting her time standing around arguing with you about “nothing”.

That’s okay - This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man.  “That’s okay” means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your stupid mistake.

Thanks- A woman is thanking you so do not question or faint.  Just say, “you are welcome”.  Now pay attention here, because if she says, “thank’s a lot” that is pure sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all.  Do not say, :you are welcome” as that will bring on a “whatever”.

Whatever - Is a woman’s way of saying “**** YOU”!

Don’t worry about it, I got it - This is another very dangerous statement meaning that what she is talking about is something that a woman has told a man to do several times but is now doing it herself.  This will later result is a man asking, “what is wrong?”.  For the woman’s response, refer to “nothing”.

Oh you do not have to - You better do it and do it fast and right.

That is interesting - This is where she has no clue what you are talking about, like when we ramble on about computers and work.

My parents hate you - This is the sign that she really likes you and finds you utterly sexy and hot.  Move from here to the bedroom with that line.

My friends hate you - This is the first sign of, “We need to see other people”.

Well, we could go on forever here, but I think it is your turn.  Tell us some of your favorite lines and words and their true meaning.


2 Comments To "Gender Translation - female to male"

#1 Comment By Amanda On Monday, August 25, 2008 @ Monday, August 25, 2008

Not the entire female gender does this. I would never get away using half this stuff on Travis. He would either see right through it or he would be able to twist it around so I got so confused I wouldn’t know what I was arguing about in the first place. He’s good like that. Maybe someday I will have better “discussion” skills and be able to confuse him in an argument, maybe… someday. I’m working on it lol.


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