Once there was a retard…

Wednesday, August 13, 2008 by Myke.

…and by the end of this you will call him Myke Reinhold. 

If the title has offended you in any way shape or form, I would suggest that you stop reading.  I mean it.  Last warning people…this is about to get offensive and very hurtful.

<Sun rising in the eastern plains>

I woke up to a beautiful sun rise, birds chirping and Disturbed on the MP3 player.  It was time to get up and drain the meat missile, clean off the night stink and brush the meat chompers.  Once done it was time to put on the business professional outfit and drive over to the train station.

As I get on the train I hear the normal chatter of “blah blah blah” so I turn on the MP3 player and crank some Pantera.  As the train fills someone sits down in front of me.  Never mind, just another creature of habit on the morning train.  I get downtown and walk 4 blocks to the ‘ol grind stone ready fro some ever energizing IT work.  YEAH HAW!

I get to work and take care of the morning rush of “my computer is broke” (fixed by turning on their monitor) or “the printers are all down” (fixed by printing something to correct printer and picking up their first job from the printer they printed to in the first place).  :-)  Then my buddies arrive after sleeping in of course.  We all head to the kitchen and get the morning beverage of juice and water.

As we talk about the evening fun and what pissed us off or made us happy, Travis proceeds to tell me that the movie “Tropical Thunder” is being protested.  For what, being stupid and funny???  My kind of movie by the way, simple to understand, guns and bombs and really bad jokes.  He tells me that the American Association of People with Disabilities are up in arms over the movie.  Ben Stiller recalls a role he played in a movie called “Simple Jack” and starts off, “once there was a retard”.

“When I heard about it, I felt really hurt inside,” said Special Olympics global messenger Dustin Plunkett. “I cannot believe a writer could write something like that. It’s the not the way that we want to be portrayed. We have feelings. We don’t like the word retard. We are people. We’re just like any other people out there. We want to be ourselves and not be discriminated against.”  - I guess they never saw the movie, The Ringer.

Stop the wars, halt the Olympics, nobody go to work, take the kids out of school…someone used the word “retard”.

Andrew J. Imparato, president of the American Association of People with Disabilities, said he and other representatives from advocacy groups representing the mentally disabled met with DreamWorks co-chair Stacey Snider and watched a private screening of the film Monday morning. Imparato called the movie “tasteless” and said it was “offensive start to finish.”

“I have a sense of humor,” said Imparato. “There were parts of the movie where I laughed, but it seems to me that the movie tried really hard to go too far and then pull back on everything that was offensive except the issue of people with intellectual disabilities. I just think Ben Stiller and the people involved in this movie just didn’t think it was going to be offensive.”Okay, okay, okay, okay…so let me get this straight.  Someone came out with a movie that used the word “retard” and you are offended by this term.  I say we break down the word “retard” and see what is found offensive about it.

Definitions of Retard
- cause to move more slowly or operate at a slower rate; “This drug will retard your heart rate”
- be delayed
- check: slow the growth or development of; “The brain damage will retard the child’s language development”
- idiot: a person of subnormal intelligence
- decelerate: lose velocity; move more slowly; “The car decelerated”
- retardation; delay; a person with mental retardation; a stupid person, or one who is slow to learn; To keep delaying; to continue to hinder; to prevent from progress; to render more slow in progress; to impede; to hinder; To put off; to postpone; To stay back

I just love the Internet, it makes me less of “a person of subnormal intelligence”.  People, movies have done it forever and they will continue to do it.  If you cannot laugh and have fun, then life is going to be very hard for you.  I can laugh at every mistake I make and every mistake I witness.  I laugh because I can, not to offend you.  Enjoy life people, stop hating everyone and everything about this world.  I know, people will protest everything and will do it as often as possible.  I have always enjoyed movies that make me laugh.

I loved Sling Blade and every single comment that was used in the movie…by the movie idiot himself.  I bet you protested this movie and never even knew what the tagline of the movie was.  Well, let me educate you - Sometimes a hero comes from the most unlikely place.  A simple man.  A difficult choice.  If only the rest of the world was like Sling Blade, we might all enjoy french fried pataters or biscuits with mustard.

Next time you want to protest a movie, person, place or thing…remember this.  Everyone has a flaw, everyone has a moment of “a stupid person, or one who is slow to learn”.

People, have you ever wondered why there is so much road rage, war, hate and violence in this world.  Because someone said, did or saw something that bothered them.  If you do not like what you see or hear…look away or STOP listening.

If you want something to be offended by, come to Denver the week of August 24th of 2008 and watch all of the Trans-Western protesters.  You talk about a group of retards.

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