Saturday, August 30, 2008 by Myke.

…but…oh who am I kidding.  I am a Star Wars fan but I think I can admit that I have not gone this far.  Daniel Deutschhas actually built an R2D2 and a full size Landspeeder.  That to me would take way more time and patiance than I have.  First of all you would not actually have any instructions to follow and second of all, I think the family would end up disowning me.  :-)  Make sure to check out his website to see more photos of everything.

Very cool, but way out of my league.

Posted in Technology, Funny | Print | 1 Comment »

Tuesday, August 26, 2008 by Myke.

So I was looking for something to make me laugh for the evening and came across some gentlemen dancing on Britain’s Got Talent.  All I can say is, I wish I could dance this good.

Maybe I can talk Travis into dancing with me…Travis get sot carry the broom though.

Posted in Music/Movie | Print | 1 Comment »

Tuesday, August 26, 2008 by Myke.

“Stop Bird Porn!  Stop Bird Porn!  Stop Bird Porn!  Stop Bird Porn!  Stop Bird Porn!”

Yes folks, there is a group telling us to “Stop Bird Porn!”.  Let me guess, you do not believe what I am saying do you?  Well then, how about some proof.

Yes, that sign actually says “Stop Bird Porn!”.  Now what exactly is the protest of stopping bird porn?  We actually had to ask ourselves that too.  Were birds getting out of control and just banging away on power lines?  No.  Were they pounding the ‘ol birdy muff on the birdhouse for all to see?  No.  Are you ready for the cause of this group?  Well, here you go folks…word for word followed up with the proof.

According to the US Fish and Wildlife service, 48 million people watch birds.  A private research group, The Good Conduct Society (virgin prudes), has discovered Bird Watchers are more sexually active than others.

The elderly find that Bird Watching is not strenuous.  And this erotic experience can be enjoyed privately through binoculars.

“Most disturbing,” said the Society’s director, Anaida Krok, “are the groups of Bird Watchers seeking vicarious sexual gratification in the woods.  Shamelessly, they blatantly observe God’s defenseless creatures mating.”

<still laughing>

Okay, so if I am to understand this group, www.stopbirdporn.org, they want all Bird Watchers to stop watching birds and then humping like birds in the woods.  It is hurting the birds feelings that you are watching.  <trying to compose myself>  I mean, did the leader of the birds go find this group and tell them this?  Okay, how about we hear more from this group?  Ready?

A psychologist who studies bird watching says: “Adults, disguised as bird watchers mask their debauchery by taking trips in groups. They can then achieve climax in the safety of the woods. Particularly disturbing is the high number of senior citizens using binoculars and telescopes to observe birds mating.

“These horny Peeing Toms satisfy their craving for sex by focusing their debasement on birds. This perversion must be halted, otherwise the entire moral fibre of our nation is going to hell.”.

A former birdwatcher, who recently resigned from his club in Meritt Island, FL, said:“I am sad about the reprehensible behavior of these bird watchers who need to satisfy their pornographic pleasures. Shame on them!”.

A member of Congress, who requested anonymity, is quietly drafting legislature that would levy stiff fines against people caught with bird porn in their possession, either photos or Internet images.

Now, that was from their front page on the Internet.  “These horny peeing Toms” <burst of laughter> are you serious.  I really hope they meant peeping toms, but either way, that is funny.

Okay, a bit more serious now.  With all of the issue we have in this Country/World, this is the best they could go after to protect?  I mean, how about we “Stop Child Molestation” or “Stop Rape”.  People, “Bird Porn” is the least of our worries.  The fact that a member of Congress is actually pursuing this issue is even more scary to me.  This site actually says that our nation is going to hell because of Bird Porn.  Really?  Really?!?

Posted in WTF, Funny | Print | 4 Comments »

Tuesday, August 26, 2008 by Myke.

Well folks, day 2 was much better than day 1 that is for sure.  There was of course the groups that got arrested again for not obeying the traffic laws with their march to protest.  Dumb asses.  Today was a lot more exciting in the sense that there was a whole lot more going on today as well.  There was a ton of police at every corner, alley and walkway.  And trust me, they were ready for the worst that could happen.  For some sick reason I am so ready for the tear gas to get shot out and the crazies to go running for cover.  I can feel it about to happen but nothing yet so far.

Some of the more interesting groups today were the 9/11 conspiracy groups claiming that our own Government led by President Bush attacked our very own country.  I am sorry but this one is a bit far out there for me to see the meaning or truth behind it.  I have watched all of the movies and the documentaries that claim to be proof but it is basically like watching someone prove they have a video of Big Foot or Nessie.  Listen people, when we look at clouds we all see something different.  If you truly believe we attacked ourselves, then so be it.  I do not believe that just like I find it very hard to believe that Big Foot is real and that Nessie is still swimming in the Loch.

Just to make my High School English teacher happy, I would correct the sign so it said “9/11 was an inside job.”.  Looking at your sign, “911 was an inside job”, I would be led to understand that when you worked as a 911 operator you worked inside and not outside.  Sounds fine to me, considering you would be out of work during rainy and snow days.  As for your far end sign, “9-11 = Inside Job”, no 9-11=-2.  See I just made my Math and English teachers so happy.  If you want to protest, at least write up some good signs and make sense out of them.

Today again we ran into the “Homo sex is Sin” and today they were in a battle of whits with a lesbian.  It was rather dull and boring to say the least.  Anti-Homo guys were trying to explain the meaning of the bible and the lesbian was trying to explain that god loves all children.  Both of them just need to shut up and move on.  Not a single person in this world can tell you exactly what God said and which “holy bible” is the truth.  Unless God comes out of hiding and tells everyone what he wants and who is right and wrong…SHUT THE **** UP!

I did find the codepinkalert.org ladies and this time there was no men…it was just ladies.  Maybe they realized that we figured out they were not a group of women but rather a group of people.  Either way, they were as retarded as before and not even worth talking to.

Well, it is getting late and I still have to write up my favorite post from today, “Stop Bird Porn”.  Yes, you read that correct and you will not believe your eyes when you read this post.  I leave you with some more DNC pictures fro your enjoyment.

Okay, so we are not done yet.  I have to include the shot of Myke and Travis walking with the DNC crowd while I was wearing my Oklahoma Black Gold “oil for the slow folks” shirt.  See if you can pick me and Travis out as we walk away.  I have also included the photo bombing picture of Travis and I making light of the Iran Tent Temple.  Cheers.

Posted in The Facts, WTF, Funny | Print | 2 Comments »

Monday, August 25, 2008 by Myke.

Remember back in the day of the playground games and gym class where you picked teams?  There was always that kid that got picked last all of the time.  It sucked but it is a part of the human brain that says, “I must win and you will not help me”.  I came across a story about a 9 year old boy who is now being told he is “too” good at baseball to play with the other kids.  WTF?!?  Are you f’ing kidding me people???  Since he has excelled at baseball and throws harder than the other kids, the league has banned him from pitching and are now disbanding his team to make it fair for the other teams.  Now mind you, his team is already 8-0 and moving right into the playoffs.  Sounds like a little league conspiracy to me.

Conspiracy theory note: Jericho’s coach and parents say the boy is being unfairly targeted because he turned down an invitation to join the defending league champion, which is sponsored by an employer of one of the league’s administrators.

Jericho instead joined a team sponsored by Will Power Fitness. The team was 8-0 and on its way to the playoffs when Jericho was banned from pitching.

I am sorry folks, but I dare…no I double dog dare the local little league here in Douglas County to say my son is too good at football or baseball or the local ballerina team.  They will have one pissed off Blogger on their hands. 

If you would like to read the story, it can be found at 9 year old told he is too good.

People, stop trying to belittle kids because you think they cannot compete with a good player.  Let them challenge themselves and prove a point.  You might be surprised to know that there are a lot of good athletes out there among all of the boys and girls.  Most parents just try to protect their kids and it forces them to walk away.  If my son was in his league, I would tell him to go out and knock the f’ing cover off the ball or strikeout swinging and stand tall knowing oyu tried.  Stop telling your kids to back down, encourage them people.  And you wonder what is wrong with our kids anymore…maybe look at some of the parents.

Rules to kids sports - No matter what the game is

1 - Play as a team
2 - Smile
3 - Have fun
4 - Always put your best out there, never leave knowing you could have done more
5 - Encourage your teammates, no matter what happens
6 - Have fun

Posted in Rant, Fitness, WTF | Print | No Comments »

Monday, August 25, 2008 by Myke.

Here we are folks in the middle of downtown Denver (aka LoDo) and the freaks, politicians, protesters and me are roaming like weeds in the ghetto backyards.  I have already seen the weirdos, the nut cases and the political wars in just one short day.  Some of the funnier ones have been the ladies all over the 16th Street Mall with their Hillary Clinton signs and wearing their Hooters for Hillary shirts.  I hope to have a picture of the shirt soon.

Now I asked 4 ladies very nicely the exact same question, “Why support someone who has no chance at even running for President?”.  Now the answer may blow your mind, but please brace yourself for this…”Because she is our best option for President”  “Hillary is the answer for everything”

After lifting myself off the ground from laughing I proceeded to the train and just shook my head.

I got home and decided to check out what everyone else is seeing and hearing and came across this little Hillary Delegate versus Hillary supporter.  Yes you read that right.

So if McCain wins, we all end up in the toilet…that is a pretty shi**y comment to make.  :-)  Sorry, had to say it.  I do love it when she gets the “Oh crap I am cornered” feeling and basically says the problem is that the Democrats keep picking losers.  God this is going to be a great week.

Posted in The Facts, Funny | Print | No Comments »

Monday, August 25, 2008 by Myke.

With the DNC now in Denver and in high gear, I started to think “why is everyone so mad?”.  I left work today from Downtown Denver and all hell was breaking loose.  There was protesting going on everywhere.  People were protesting the war, gay and lesbian crap, religious crap, political crap and so on.  I actually read a couple of signs that said, “Homo sex is Sin” and “Gay sex is destroying the World”.  Holy homo erotica Batman, what will we ever do to stop this crime wave of GAY SEX?!?  Are you kidding me people?  Do you actually have proof that gay sex is destroying the World?  I mean, is gay sex the root of all Global Warming issues?  By the way, “Homo sex is Sin”, where the **** did you learn your English from?  I am wondering though, did (insert religious figure name here) tell you that Homo sex is a sin?  My guess is no, you just came up with that thought from “your” understanding of the Bible or sand-script or cowboy hat or whatever you get your religious words from.

Okay, back to my point.  What is the definition of World Peace?  Some say World Peace is loving each other and everything and the right to enjoy life to it’s fullest.  I think not people.  To me, World Peace is not a feeling, it is something that happens.  When I have “great sex” I get a feeling of Peace and Harmony but that is not World Peace.  This is a complicated phrase and it can mean so many things to so many people.  I will give you the answer to World Peace shortly.

There are groups all over the World that think they have the “answer” to World Peace.  Take for example, answercoalition.org, which uses the phrase ANSWER as their slogan.  They claim that ANSWER means, act now stop war end racism.  WTF?!?  Why is everything in this World have to come down to Racism?  I know, because you will always blame Racism like the tree humpers of the world blaming Global Warming.  They actually chant stuff like this, “1 2 3 4 we don’t want this f***ing war!”.  Who wants war you friging morons, it is a way of life.  It happens and it will always happen.  I heard Penn and Tellerexplain that this group needs to change ANSWER to mean, assholic nimrod socialist wads end racism.  I sort of agree with this, but 100%.  If I were to help market this ANSWER group it might mean something like this, anarchy narcissistic socialist whacko end retardation.  FYI, this group was formed right after 9/11/01, whcih we all know what day that was.  Guess what dumbs**ts, terrorist groups are not racists…they target everyone based off of their geographic location.  Funny thing is this, they run around in red shirts trying to promote the idea of not going to war.  Did you realize that red is the color of rage?  My guess is, no, considering after we listened to you it came across as you had a third world education.  25+ years old with the intelligence of a 5 year old jackal.

Okay let’s move on to the next group of “retards”.  Code Pink is another mentally challenged group, codepinkalert.org.  This is a group that has a slogan, Women for Peace.  But yet, in watching this group they are about 50% men and 50% women.  I think the slogan should be rethought and redone.  Just a thought.  They are currently promoting their new march or protest, Don’t Bomb Iran!  Now I want you to look very closely at this banner from their site…very closely.

Is it me, or does that say “Don’t Iraq Iran!” in the background test???  Maybe I am a bit to manly to understand this but what in the **** does “Don’t Iraq Iran” mean?  Are you trying to say in a very Martha Stewart way, Don’t do to Iran what we are currently doing to Iraq?  If it is, go home and bake me a f***ing pie and shut the **** up.  I cannot wait to run into this “pink” group during the DNC this week.  People if you want to protest, make some f***ing sense out of it.

Okay, so my theory is this.  People protest to just get their feelings out and to have their voice heard.  That is fine, we live in a country where we promote free speech.  But let me tell you something, if you want to protest and challenge people…then be prepared to defend your cause.  When someone, like myself, challenges your debate of whatever you are protesting…then seem like you know something and have an intelligent response or defense.

Secret to World Peace - This is actually very simple folks.  Money, dinero, green backs, cash.  Trade.  Financial inter-dependence.  As long as money is flowing from country to country adn there is trading going on and people are making a financial gain, they will be happy and the countries will get along.  That is my version of World Peace.

I will have the play by play on any and all protest confrintations from the DNC week here in Denver.

p.s.  Qdoba is promoting a new campaign, “Burritos for Obama”.  That is funny.  Thanks for the shirt by the way, Pedro loves it.

Posted in The Facts, Rant | Print | 1 Comment »

Sunday, August 24, 2008 by Myke.

I want to first start off by saying that this is going to get very political now folks.  The DNC is here in Denver and I am letting my voice be heard.  We need to stop the bull**** and tell everyone we are sick of lies.

Are you tired of paying too much for gas at the pump?  I am.  Are you tired of hearing how no one is offering a solution to the problem?  I am.  But I also know that there is an answer, we have the ability to drill for oil and gas but congress is topping us.  Why?  Ask them yourself, maybe they will tell you.  I have posted many things about Global Warming but now it is time for everyone to step up and tell Congress what we want.  We want gas prices to go down.  If you too would like to tell Congress we want cheaper gas now, then tell them.  Drill Here, Drill now.  Pay less.

It is now time for Myke Reinhold to step up his political agenda.  If you are not political then stop reading.  I am here today to let my voice be heard.  We want a stronger country with econmic stability.  Stop sending our hard earned dollars to other countries.  Drill here, drill now and pay less is what we want.

Gasoline, diesel, natural gas and aviation fuel prices are at all-time highs. Americans are being forced to change their lifestyles to make up for additional expenses as a result of the high price at the pump.

The United States has an estimated 1.8 trillion barrels of oil off its coasts as well as in northern Alaska and the Rocky Mountains; this amount is 3 times greater than the proven reserves of Saudi Arabia.

73% of Americans support drilling in presently restricted areas of the United States if it is done in an environmentally-friendly way.

Recent advances in technology now protect against major oil spills into the ocean. Today, we have environmental safeguards to protect against disasters while drilling. This technology uses a “shut-in” system that immediately stops the flow of oil from the ocean floor if the pump is disconnected, preventing major oil flow into the water. This system proved to be successful in the Gulf of Mexico during Hurricane Katrina, one of the most destructive storms in recorded American history. The absence of spillage from rigs in the Gulf of Mexico following Hurricane Katrina is a testament to the strength of the environmental safeguards now in place.

One needs to look no further than Brazil to determine the incredible effects that can come from domestic drilling. Upon discovering two large oil fields in the Atlantic, Brazil began drilling and is now 100% energy independent from nations such as Saudi Arabia, Iran and Iraq.

Congress must act immediately to allow exploration of new resources in America. It is time to make searching and drilling for oil in the Atlantic, Pacific, eastern parts of the Gulf of Mexico, northern Alaska and the Rocky mountains legal. With environmental precautions in place, such drilling will lower fuel prices and boldly enhance our nation’s independence.

While Washington might disagree on whether global warming is occurring, the American people generally do not disagree. The American people believe, by a majority of 82% that global warming and climate change are probably happening.

Americans believe, by a majority of 73%, that it is possible to have a healthy economy and a healthy environment.

Just as this is an age of scientific discovery, it is also an age of opportunity. The world has changed from a place where recycling was expensive, with all the effort taking place on the part of the individual, to a place where massive industry has made it convenient for the public to participate.

The American people, by a majority of 68%, believe that we do not need to raise taxes to clean up the environment; instead, they believe we should use innovation and incentives.

For companies, 76% of the American people support giving tax credits to companies that cut carbon emissions as an incentive to cut pollution.

For individuals, 66% of the American people support giving tax credits to homeowners who incorporate alternative energy systems in their homes, and 68% of the American people favor giving tax credits to people who turn in older, high-polluting cars.

The capacity to harness new discoveries into solutions for today’s problem must not be understated, and must not be under-supported.

Renewing the earth so that humanity may continue to thrive and prosper is an absolute requirement of modern society. This emotional and moral commitment goes back thousands of years, to the injunction from the Book of Genesis to “replenish the Earth.”

Currently, 78% of Americans find our dependence on foreign oil to be threatening to our national security and economic prosperity, by making us vulnerable to dangerous dictatorships.

Building more oil refineries to lower the cost of gas and reduce our dependence on foreign oil is a solution found favorable by 77% of Americans.

Drilling for oil off of America’s costs is a solution found favorable by 73% of Americans, provided that proper precautions are taken to protect the environment.

It is time for an honest debate about drilling and producing in places like Alaska, our national forests, and off the coast of scenic areas. Scientists of impeccable background should help set the standards for sustaining the environment in sensitive areas, and any company entering the areas should be bonded to meet those standards.

The public should be informed about new methods of production that can meet the environmental standards, and any development should be only with those new methods.

A percentage of the revenues from resources generated in environmentally sensitive areas should be dedicated to environmental activities including biodiversity sustainment, land acquisition, and environmental cleanups in places where there are no private resources that can be used to clean up past problems.

So I ask you, if the majority of American people want to start drilling now to help the economy and lower the cost of gas to the consumer, then why is it not happening.  That is the question that needs to be addressed by our new President.  Stop letting others speak for you, make a stand and speak for yourself.  The US Government needs to hear our voice and they will, only if we make them.

Posted in The Facts | Print | 1 Comment »

Saturday, August 23, 2008 by Myke.

I am old enough to know that living through the 80’s was a weird time and at the time I thought it was cool.  Was it?  Well, let’s take a stroll down memory lane for a bit.

Miami Vice - TV show with fast cars and hot women.  The acting sucked, the clothes were crazy but for a teen boy, the cars were fast and the chicks were hot.

Swatch watches - This was a funny one to say the least.  The crazy colors and the even more crazy rubber guard that covered the top.  We actually thought we looked cool with these things.

Break dancing - This is a toss up to say the least.  It was fun, parachute pants were the **** and wearing one glove was cool…or was it?!?  Break dancing is still around but the music the dance too is much different…thank god.

MTV - Was actually music television and not reality BS!  “I want my MTV”

Star Wars - No not the movies, the actually Star Wars.  It was a nuke defense that we spent trillions on and never even used.

Roller skating - It was the hip place to be where guys could speed skate to impress and couples skate to get the girl.  Terrible food, the place stuck like sweaty feet but damn we were cool.

Okay, I am going to stop because I am starting to realize that I was not cool but rather I was a fad back then.  Thank god we do not have fads today huh???  Well, I am going back to listen to my iPod and write some more on my other blog site now. 

Posted in Funny | Print | 1 Comment »

Saturday, August 23, 2008 by Myke.

Have you ever wondered what the female gender is really saying?  Okay, come on men, I am not alone here.  There have been thousands of times I have misunderstood the female gender.  It does not make you a bad person, it is just a lack of knowledge.  We have put together a list of words and phrases along with there “meaning” that might help you out in the future.  Rest assured, this has been tested and approved by my favorite woman in the world, Lilmedmamma.

Fine- This is the word women use to end an argument when they know they are right.  We need to shut up immediately.

Five minutes - If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour.  Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

Nothing - This is the calm before the storm.  “Nothing” to a woman means something, and you should be on your toes.  Arguments that begin with “nothing” usually end in “fine”.

Go ahead - This is a dare, not permission.  Don’t do it!

The famous loud sigh - This is not actually a word but a very important non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men.  A loud sigh means she is wasting her time standing around arguing with you about “nothing”.

That’s okay - This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man.  “That’s okay” means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your stupid mistake.

Thanks- A woman is thanking you so do not question or faint.  Just say, “you are welcome”.  Now pay attention here, because if she says, “thank’s a lot” that is pure sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all.  Do not say, :you are welcome” as that will bring on a “whatever”.

Whatever - Is a woman’s way of saying “**** YOU”!

Don’t worry about it, I got it - This is another very dangerous statement meaning that what she is talking about is something that a woman has told a man to do several times but is now doing it herself.  This will later result is a man asking, “what is wrong?”.  For the woman’s response, refer to “nothing”.

Oh you do not have to - You better do it and do it fast and right.

That is interesting - This is where she has no clue what you are talking about, like when we ramble on about computers and work.

My parents hate you - This is the sign that she really likes you and finds you utterly sexy and hot.  Move from here to the bedroom with that line.

My friends hate you - This is the first sign of, “We need to see other people”.

Well, we could go on forever here, but I think it is your turn.  Tell us some of your favorite lines and words and their true meaning.

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