Brothers and sisters of the technology world, hear me roar and let your voice be heard.  How many times have you had to call into tech support and cringe each time you do?  How many times have you hit up your network of contacts long before calling some outsourced tech support?  Man let me tell you.  I hate it and have hated it for years and will always hate it.  That is why companies like, [1] LeftHand Networks, [2] CommVault, [3] Exagrid, [4] Lewan and [5] Homerun Networks will always have my vote as the best companies.  They not only have local “USA” tech support, but we can actually have a conversation while a system is rebooting or an application is loading.

I know, the sweat is pouring down your face right now and you are cringing at the thought of your next call.  I have actually been so mad at them that I decide that a complete reload is better than talking to Habib Alibaba Sandindabutt.  I am not a raciest, I am just a proud American who thinks that companies could do a better job at having local tech support.  instead we save a buck and send it over to India.  STOP!

Now with many years of knowledge under my belt, I have to call them very little now.  Thank god!  But when I do call now, I have made it a game and it has actually been pretty fun and it can make your job more enjoyable.  Heck, you might even decide to call an outsourced India tech support group just to play.  Basically when you call, have fun with them.  Act like you know them and they are best buds with you.  Act as if you know India and have been there so many times you cannot even count.  Act like this is the greatest thing, having tech support sent over to India.

Still wondering how fun that could be.  Well, let me demonstrate for you.  this is the dialog from a recent call to a certain hardware vendor tech support group.  We had to get a new part for an under warranty server and since we have 4 hour response support…we called. 

(cough cough…clearing throat)

Tech Support: “شكرا للدعوة الى دعم فني ، إسمي بوب محمد . كيف هل لي ان تساعدك اليوم؟”
Me: “Hey Bob, how is it going?  Man, long time no speak home boy.  man it has been forever since I have talked to you and the rest of the crew out their in India.  Man I miss you guys.  Listen I am calling because we have a server that has a bad power supply in it.  I need a replacement.”
Tech Support: “ما هو الرقم المسلسل للخادم وما هو الجزء على عدد امدادات الطاقة؟”
Me: “Oh, the serial number is ****************.  So how is the wife and kids doing?  Still herding goats in the spare time?  I know the feeling of needing to moon-light for some extra cash.  Times are tough man.  I mean with our tech support jobs going to India and all your cab driver jobs going to Americans, it is tough right now.”
Tech Support: “ولست متأكدا من انني افهم ما انت تقول. وانا لست راعي الماعز ، واعمل لحصان وليس  لدي زوجة واطفال”
Me: “Man, good times, good times.  So about that power supply.  Can I get that here in the next 4 hours?  I mean that is what our agreement is.”
Tech Support: “نعم ، مكتبة داغ همرشولد سيلقي في ذلك الجزء من جان pm اليوم. هل هناك اي شيء آخر يمكن ان يساعد لك؟ آخر يمكن ان يساعد لك؟”
Me: “Sweet, so 4PM today.  Man you always rock Bob.  tell the wife, kids and goats I said “hi”.  Maybe next time we all come out there we can go catch the latest sand-script and have some drinks and talk about the good times we always have.  Thanks again man.”
Tech Support: “لماذا لا تذهب بنفسك اللعين الاحمق!”

See, you get what you want and you can make it a pleasant call.  Now I know that not all calls will go this smoothly, but it is worth a shot.

Cheers and have a great 4th of July!