Wednesday, July 30, 2008 by Myke.

So I read this story about a man who killed a transgenderafter figuring out that this woman used to be a man.  As I read the story, it comes to light that he went on a date, received some oral pleasure.  Then later went on another date with this woman and started to wonder if this was really a woman.  Looking at pictures and asking questions and then finally grabbing the woman’s crotch to find a PENIS!  Then proceeded to kill her.

I found this story very disturbing and actually bothered me.  First of all, if you have doubts you are dating a woman and actually have to ask, “Are you a man or a woman?”, that is usually a good sign that you have found a reason to move on from this relationship.  Second, when the woman answers back, “I am all woman.”, that should have prompted some questions in your mind.  This bothers me though, just because she is a transgender person…does it make it right to hate this person???  She is a woman and a human being just like the rest of us.  Plus she gave you a nice parting gift on the first date, blow-job, and you kindly accepted with no care in the world.  So basically you actually liked this person enough to receive the oral gift and you went on another date.  Sounds like love in the making to me. 

Okay, let’s make some light of this sick person now.  You go on date, get head, go on another date then murder her.  Now you are charged with murder, which means you are going to prison.  Now the story will get spread very quickly about who you are and I am sure you will have chances to explain yourself.  Ah, but my ignorant male monkey, you are about to find out what it is like to give pleasure now.  As I am sure you will have plenty of time to think about what life would be like with Angie Zapata, had you not killed her.  So Alan, enjoy your time behind bars…over bars…in the shower…behind the shower…in bed…under bed…and make sure you use mouthwash.  Maybe I can send you some Orbitz gum, because we all hate a dirty mouth.

p.s.  Make sure you wear your shower shoes when taking a shower.  That floor can get a little messy, especially after magazines have been delivered.

Posted in Rant, WTF | Print | 6 Comments »

Thursday, July 24, 2008 by Myke.

I am sure I am not the only person who has used Google Earth to check out places.  It is actually a pretty cool tool and many businesses have found great uses for it.  But not here, we tried to find the best and craziest places possible.

Navy Swastika

Three airplanes taking off at once.

One winged plane landing.

World War II bomber.

Typhoon slammed cruise ship.

18-wheeler wreck.

Gravity defying car.

Leaning office building.

Crop circles…including the nicely placed Mozilla Firefox.
 

KFC and Coca-Cola learned of the pictures just in time to place nice ads.
 

And that concludes our lesson in Google Earth.  Now we would really love to see your pictures and findings.

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Thursday, July 24, 2008 by Myke.

Before I begin, this post is brought to you by the Black and Single: Is marriage really for white people? story on CNN.com.  I am sorry if you find this to be an offensive story, but dammit people this **** drives  crazy!

Is marriage really for white people?  45 percent of black women have never been married compared to 23 percent of white women.  Hello, have you ever thought to factor in that 50% of all marriages end in divorce?!?  That is right, over 50% of ALL marriages end in divorce.  Also, have you ever thought that maybe some black women do not want to marry another race, which means they have to battle the 2 black women to 1 black man ratio?

This story basically says that Mrs. Allen, a white woman, had it “all” and she (Dionne Hill - un-married black woman) wanted to be just like her.  Do you know what Mrs. Allen’s life was like at home or did you just assume?  She (Dionne Hill - un-married black woman) wanted to be married, have a house and kids and have a solid education.  She goes on to say that she has to withstand the jokes of being single and is always asked, “Why are you single?”.  Here is an answer for you, you are single because you have made that decision.  Every time you start to date someone you, you put up the wall and push men away or decide that the man in your life is not good enough or maybe even that he is not ready for marriage.  Maybe you have a bad judge in character.  Maybe you are hard to deal with and no one wants to marry you.  Being single is not a bad thing and it is not a good thing…it is a fact of life for every single person in this world.  We are not born married, we work through our lives and get married.  Maybe you are still single and have not found the right man because you are gay.  Maybe there is no perfect man in this world for you, maybe there is a perfect woman out there for you.

I am seriously expecting this to be the next topic on the Presidential debate.

“As President of these United States, I vow to help black women meet their ‘one and only’ soul mate and get married.  I will ensure that all ‘babies mommas’ have a husband to go home to.  <Raises glass>  Here is one for me and one for my homies.  Peace up, W Town.  Goodnight.” - McCain

OMFG!  Are we really a nation of whiners or what?!?  Are we really this narrow minded that we see everything mother ******* thing as a black and white issue?  For the love of <insert religious person here> people.  Grow up, grow a pair and take life head on.  Instead of blaming society for your issues, maybe take a look at yourself and figure out what is wrong with you.  Being a black woman and not being married is not a black issue.

Would you rather get married to the wrong person and then end up getting divorced?  When are we as a society going to step up and take control of our own lives and our own issues?  Stop blaming other people/things/places/drugs/alcohol/parents for your short comings.

This is all a great big circle of life folks.  Things happen for a reason and you cannot control most of them.  One thing that is wrong with society is that when one ignorant person makes an offensive comment, people fault the entire race, not the person who said the remark.  I hear this crap everyday when riding the train and walking through downtown Denver.  The Presidential campaign is even getting “Black and White” and not in the direction you would think.  People are calling Obama out for being too white and leaning towards helping the white people.  Are you ******* serious folks?  The average person in America is not a racist.  I am not a racist, but I hate lazy and ignorant people!  Every race has a bad gene pool in it.  For example, there are white people and then there is white trash.  I could go on but then someone would assume that I am racist.  If you feel that you are more qualified for a job, then prove it.  If you feel you deserve a nicer car or nicer home in a better neighborhood, then go buy them.  I worked my ass off my entire life to get where I am.  I was not handed a great job, a car, a home, a wife and kids…I earned them.  I have worked hard and still work hard at what I do to succeed in life.  But before I got to where I am today I struggled and had issues.  I lived pay check to pay check and ate Ramen Noodles and drank generic Kool-Aid but I made it.  I never once blamed anyone for it.  I blamed myself and decided to make a better life for myself.  I made mistakes and got in trouble with the law but never blamed anyone, it was my fault.  I have a biological father who was a drunk, drug user and mental/physical abuser…but I have never used him as an excuse.  My first step-father was a drunk/drug user and mental/physical abuser…again I never used him as an excuse.  Everything that has happened to me in my life has been my fault and my fault only.

I grew up, maybe it is your turn.  Grow up America.

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Tuesday, July 22, 2008 by Myke.

Ah, let the debate begin.  What would you consider a friend to be?  What would you consider a homie to be?  Do you even know what a homie is?  For guys, this has always been a line and it is very defined.

A friend is someone that you can have a conversation with.  Talk about sports or what happened over the weekend.  This person can be a co-worker, a fellow train passenger or even a neighbor.

A homie is someone that is there for you no matter what.  This person will be by your side even if it meant they would get hurt or in trouble as well.

So there lies the line.  But how do you know when to cross and when not to?  Here is a simple test to determine if you have a friend or a homie.  I Will make a statement and you just fill in the answer…to yourself please.  I mean we may not be homies’ so this could get uncomfortable.

1 - Man, last night the wife woke up and caught me masturbating in the bathroom.

2 - Last night the wife and I were playing “inverted horseback rider” and our son came running in and jumped on her back.

3 - Hey man, did you catch the game last night?

4 - Wow I am tired, I need some more coffee.

5 - Man, I swear, if (insert co-workers name) does not chill out he is going to meet his maker very soon.

6 - Hey, I have these home-made fireworks.  You want to go and blow some stuff up?

For statements 1,2,5 and 6 I hope you answered with a homie.  Statements 3 and 4 are clear friends statements.  Sometimes it is hard to determine if a person is a homie or not.  But honestly, if you have to think about it…then this person is not a homie.

Having friends is a great hting.  But until you actually and truly have a homie, you will never know the difference.  Homies can be told, “I love you man”, and never even think twice about how gay it may sound.

ICP said it best, “My homies, homies, talking about the dogs of mine”.  All you need to do is listen to Juggalo Homies by ICP and you will understand.

Posted in Funny | Print | 5 Comments »

Tuesday, July 22, 2008 by Myke.

Welcome everyone to the debate of Global Warming.  Today we will be asking our guests questions in regards to Global Warming and ask that they not only answer the question but provide some sort of facts to back their statements.  Today we will be talking to Myke Reinhold from ihatemykereinhold.com and the author of the famous Global Warming Big Footarticle.  We will also be talking with Al Gore and Love Child from Green Peace.  Sorry, neither of these two guests has written or spoken anything worth while.

Okay, with everyone here, let’s begin.

Gore - “Um, excuse me…what do you mean provide actual facts?  Can I just provide what I feel is true or do you need rock solid scientific facts?  I guess I was understanding this was to prove my point and no one else’s.”

Reinhold - “Hey Gore, have another Big Mac and prepared to be educated.  This is a debate to prove fact over your 4th grade education.”

Gore - <sniff sniff> “Okay.”

Love Child - “Kittens are so cute and fun to play with.  Did you know that I have not shaved my legs in 3 years?  It keeps me so warm in the winter.”

Reinhold - “Hey Love Child, if Global Warming is such an issue then why are you worried about keeping yourself warm?  Dumb ass.”

Panel - “Mr. Gore, you say that you have proven facts that Global Warming is a major issue and you have been quoted as saying, ‘We, the people of Earth, will soon be living just like the people in that movie Water World.’  What proof do you have and what makes you think that water will consume the world?

Gore - “Um, well, let’s see here.  Water already covers 90% of the planet today.  If all of the ice at the North pole and South Pole were to melt, that would cover the other 15% of the planet.”

Reinhold - “Excuse me.  Water only covers about 70% of the planet, not 90%.  Of that 70%, there is only about 2% to 3% of fresh water.  Plus, 90% plus 15% equals 105% you uneducated fruit basket.”

Love Child - “Wow, like peace and harmony man.”

Gore - “90 plus 15 is not 105…oh who cares.  You say tomato I say apple.”

Panel - “Myke, you have been quoted and have written that ‘warming trends’ are not accurate as folks like Gore have said.  You also have said that a modest amount of Global warming would actually help our planet.  can you please explain this?”

Reinhold - “Of course I will.  Our most reliable sources of temperature data show no global warming trend.
Satellite readings of temperatures in the lower troposphere (an area scientists predict would immediately reflect any global warming) show no warming since readings began 23 years ago. These readings are accurate to within 0.01ºC,
and are consistent with data from weather balloons. Only land-based temperature stations show a warming trend, and these stations do not cover the entire globe, are often contaminated by heat generated by nearby urban development, and are subject to human error.  A modest amount of global warming, should it occur, would be beneficial to the natural world and to human civilization. Temperatures during the Medieval Warm Period (roughly 800 to 1200 AD), which allowed the Vikings to settle presently inhospitable Greenland, were higher than even the worst-case scenario reported by the IPCC. The period from about 5000-3000 BC, known as the “climatic optimum,” was even warmer and marked “a time when mankind began to build its first civilizations,” observe James Plummer and Frances B. Smith in a study for Consumer Alert. “There is good reason to believe that a warmer climate would have a similar effect on the health and welfare
of our own far more advanced and adaptable civilization today.”

Gore - “Oh, and I suppose you have actually spoken to a Viking and he told you this?  Pssh.  Whatever!”

Reinhold - “Actually Gore, textbooks and scientific documents prove this.  If you actually looked into this and got past the 4th grade, you might actually understand what is being said.”

Love Child - “Hands across America people…make love not war.  bring the soldiers home.”

Gore - “What books?  What documents?  Huh?  Can you answer that wise guy?”

Panel - “Okay, let’s move on.  What does everyone think of the Kyoto Protocol?”

Love Child - “Oh wow, like they make the most beautiful and mother nature inspired music.  I love them.  I hope I see them at Woodstock soon.”

Gore - “This protocol is the only way to save our planet.”

Reinhold - “He he.  You are a funny man Gore.  Efforts to quickly reduce human greenhouse gas emissions would be costly
and would not stop Earth’s climate from changing. Reducing U.S. carbon dioxide emissions to 7 percent below 1990’s levels by the year 2012–the target set by the Kyoto Protocol–would require higher energy taxes and regulations causing the nation to lose 2.4 million jobs and $300 billion in annual economic output. Average household income nationwide would fall by $2,700, and state tax revenues would decline by $93.1 billion due to less taxable earned income and sales, and lower property values. Full implementation of the Kyoto Protocol by all participating nations would reduce global temperature in the year 2100 by a mere 0.14 degrees Celsius.”

Gore - “Wrong.  With this protocol in place we will save the planet, Polar Bears can roam the ice for food and we will not be swimming in water in the near future.”  You keep throwing these quote unquote facts out there but have yet to prove anything.”

Reinhold - “You know the sad part about you Gore, you actually got to run for President.  You lost fair and square and then went on the McD’s diet and gained like 75 pounds.  If you actually applied the time you spend bitching and eating on actually learning something, you might be half smart.  But until then, you are a joke and so is your campaign to promote Global Warming.”

Gore - “Pssh.”

Love Child - “Oops, was that me?  Sorry, I had tree bark and grubs for lunch.”

Reinhold - “You have started such a panic with the general public that in my mind, you could actually be considered a terrorist.  You lie to promote chaos.  You have caused the American people to spend so much money.  You alone have caused jobs to be lost and people to lose so much money.”

Panel - “Well, I think we have seen enough here.  Love Child, please go back to humping and loving trees.  Gore, well, please just go away.  Myke, it has been a pleasure talking to you again and we look forward to hearing more from you.”

Reinhold - “Thank you.  I would just like to finish off by saying that each person needs to think for themselves and learn the facts.  Do not accept facts from uneducated people.  If you truly believe that Global Warming is an issue, then please feel free to bid on my ocean front property down in New Mexico.  Global Warming is a scam.  The only reason I see that this scam was created was to allow the Environmental groups to raise billions of dollars, which they have. cause a global scare that is not backed by any actual facts. Why is it that when a debate is started about this, these groups can never actually provide proof or factual data?  It is time for us to step up and stop the hype and crush this scam.”

Gore - “Whatever Mr. Big Words and fancy shoes.  Whatever.”

This post has been brought to you by Travis’s Brain Dump.  Thanks Travis and thanks to Carrie Reinhold for conducting the interview.

Posted in The Facts | Print | 3 Comments »

Tuesday, July 15, 2008 by Myke.

Do you know what ANRW is? ANRW is the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge.

Offshore drilling has started to get some serious attention.  Bush has agreed to allow it but Congress is blocking it.  Democrats, Green Peace, Tree Huggers and Gore want you to believe that ANRW drilling is going to cause major wildlife and environment issues.  They want you to believe that drilling here is a huge risk and the oil/gas companies just want to make another buck out of it.  Oil/Gas companies are trying to prove to everyone and provide actual facts that drilling in the ANRW is a good plan, not a bad plan.  These companies spend millions upon millions to do wildlife/environment studies to ensure that they leave the land intact and do not disrupt mother nature and her children.  So who do you believe?  Who is lying and who is telling the truth?  Well I am here today to help provide you with some information that maybe will help you see the big picture and what is hiding in the lies.  As I have stated in previous posts before, Natural Gas and Global Warning Bigfoot, I firmly believe that the truth needs ot be heard.  Taking someones words and not following up on them is crazy.  You are basically listening to them tell you their story without actual facts to back them up.

Back to the ANRW issue.  If the US has a way to drill for fossil fuels and we can do this without going to other countries for it, then why is this a bad thing?  If it means a way to help boost the economy and lower oil prices, then why is this a bad thing?  If it can be done with very little environment and wildlife disruption, then why not start drilling?  To answer this, I want you to ask yourself these questions after reading this article.

First of all, let’s take a look at the comparison of the Alaska and ANRW to the United States.

Here is a picture to give you some perspective of where the proposed drilling will take place.

Now to give you an idea of the proposed drilling, it is located in the ANRW Coastal Plain.

When you actually look at these photos, it shows that the proposed drilling is only 2,000 acres out of 19 million acres.  That is not a whole lot to say the least.  To me, if this helps the US in any way, I say we move forward.  But I still want you to think for yourself.

The following pictures are what the Democrats, Green Peace and Liberals what you to see ANRW as.
 
Now these pictures are amazing and beautiful, but is there something we are missing here?  Do you remember the map from before?  The proposed drilling is on the coastal plains.  Where is the coast in these pictures?  Where exactly are these pictures taken from?

So what exactly does the proposed drilling site look like?  I am glad you asked.  Here is a few pictures of the proposed drilling area.
   
Now that looks more like the plains by the coast.

Now for some pictures of Prudhoe Bay during the summer and during the winter.  As you can see, the Caribou are roaming like they should during a normal day in Caribou land.  There is also a picture of a bear just cruising the pipeline in the Prudhoe Bay area.
  

So at some point you have to ask yourself why the Democrats would lie about such a place and proposition.  Do you remember when Al “Hamburglar” Gore said that the Government should work to artificially raise gas prices to $5.00/gallon?  Well, in my book they have not only almost reached that goal…they will more than likely pass that goal by years end.

I want you all to understand one thing about the Democrat’s, Green Peace, and Liberal’s of the world.  For the most part, they are always out to make themselves look better in some way shape or form.  Are the Republican’s perfect?  No, and I would never say that either.  What does need to happen is that the Oil/Gas companies need the American people to step up and force the truth out of the Government.  We need answers and proof.

I am only one man with one voice.  I just hope you take the time to read the facts and think for yourself.  Challenge me to any facts you like, that is what a debate is about.  I do not want to force my story on you, I just want you to have your own story.  Think for yourself.

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Monday, July 14, 2008 by Myke.

I came across this company logo, A-Style, which is a clothing line out of Italy.  I love the logo and had to share it with everyone.  I think everyone should be wearing A-Style.

This brings us to the grand marketing scheme of this logo.  It is one of the best and greatest ideas I have ever seen when it comes to clothing lines.  When you create a logo that is so easy to notice and make you think, you will always remember it in the back of your mind.  Brilliant I tell you, brilliant.

Posted in WTF, Funny | Print | No Comments »

Monday, July 14, 2008 by Myke.

So McD’s is running an ad campaign with a billboard that claims 100% beef.  Are you serious?  Then I look closer to the billboard and realize that it actually says 1% beef.  Now that I would believe.  You be the judge.

I swear I was not the person that crossed out the beef and wrote ****.  I swear.

Well, I was emailed an even better billboard from good folks over at McD’s that had me laughing even more.  So when I see this billboard, I can actually say that I now know there was a reason I never eat that food.  1% beef and 99% testicle…mmmm mmmm good.

Posted in Food, Funny | Print | No Comments »

Monday, July 14, 2008 by Myke.

“It’s so hard…to say goodbye…to yesterday.”

I would first like to introduce you to a beautiful and young lady named Katie Jaeger.  She worked as a dental assistant in Lonetree, CO.  Katie was very full of life, friendly to every person she met and had a smile that made everyone smile, no matter how bad a day you had.  Katie was 23 years young when her life was taken so suddenly.

Katie Jaeger Memorial

Katie, we will both miss you everyday.  You made things very easy every time no matter what was happening.  I cannot even begin to imagine what your family and friends are going through right now.  We will miss you.

It’s so hard to say goodbye, so that is why I am saying we will always remember you.

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Saturday, July 12, 2008 by Myke.

If you plan on visiting Beijing during the Olympics, the dog is no longer on the menu.  Sorry, no deep fried fragrant meat or terrier and broccoli.  I am actually not sure I could eat dog.  I mean I am a meat and potatoes kind of guy and all but to take a bite out of a pitbull, not too high on my list.  Although I suppose if Rodizio served it to me…I might try it.

Dog meat has been struck from the menus of officially designated Olympic restaurants, and Beijing tourism officials are telling other outlets to discourage consumers from ordering dishes made from dogs, the official Xinhua News Agency reported Friday.

Waiters and waitresses should “patiently” suggest other options to diners who order dog, it said, quoting city tourism bureau Vice Director Xiong Yumei.

Dog, known in Chinese as “xiangrou,” or “fragrant meat,” is eaten by some Chinese for its purported health-giving qualities.

Beijing isn’t the first Olympic host to slap a ban on the dish.

South Korea banned dog meat during the 1988 Seoul Olympics by invoking a law prohibiting the sale of “foods deemed unsightly.” After the Olympics, the ban was not strictly enforced.

Dog meat is also eaten in some other Asian countries, including Vietnam, the Philippines and Laos.

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